Starting a Relationship

9 Ways to Make Him Miss You Like Crazy

Milena J. Wisniewska Avatar

Table of Contents

Let’s get one thing clear — you can’t make anyone miss you. 

Trying to control someone’s feelings is some Cersei Lannister energy, and we’re aiming for a genuine connection here. Here are 9 ways to make him miss you like crazy — no manipulation, just setting the sails for a magnetic, lasting bond.

Table of Contents


But first . . . does absence make a man miss you?

The answer is both yes and no. 

As the French moralist François de la Rochefoucauld puts it, “Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and fans the bonfire.”[2]

So, if he’s just playing you’ll know soon enough, because no amount of absence can turn a candle into a bonfire. But if he’s genuinely into you, that’s a whole different story. 

I’ll never forget the time my boo had to go on a two-week work trip for the first time. At first, I thought, “Finally, some solo time.” But by day three, I was all but hugging his hoodie just to feel closer. Turns out it wasn’t just me — science has a thing or two to say about this.

A study published in EPJ Data Science found that when we stop interacting with those we care about, the quality of those relationships tends to fade. So, to keep connections strong, many social species instinctively put in extra effort to maintain them, especially when they’re not around each other often.[1]

So, embrace a little distance, and let him feel the weight of your absence. If the connection fizzles? Well, tell the boy bye. But if there’s real mutual attraction underneath? Well then — come on, baby, light my fire.


1. Use absence strategically. 

A bit of mystery adds a layer of excitement and anticipation to your connection. 

Taking a “me day” here and there allows both of you some space, giving his feelings room to grow naturally — before he knows it, he’ll be missing you like you’re The Winds of Winter.

But using absence strategically doesn’t mean ghosting or playing mind games. You don’t want him questioning whether you’re still interested, waiting around because of some outdated three-day rule, or wondering why it’s suddenly radio silence. That’s not being mysterious — that’s just being rude.

Keep your “disappearances” light and natural. It’s about savoring time apart, not staging a vanishing act that leaves him wondering what he did wrong.

Make plans for the next meetup. End your time together with something to look forward to — a specific plan instead of vague ideas. This keeps him excited about your next date without any guesswork.

Stay engaged but brief. Drop thoughtful texts now and then. A fun meme, a quick “thinking of you” text to make him miss you; just enough to show you’re still there, without being overbearing. And when he texts you that he misses you, be mindful and thoughtful with your replies. 

Use the time for yourself. Instead of waiting around for him to reach out, focus on your own passions and friends. There’s nothing more attractive than a woman who’s fully engaged in her own life.

But don’t overdo it or else you risk putting out the flame you’ve built. Instead, let your brief disappearances be as refreshing as a cool breeze and as rare as a blue moon.

Read: How to Make Yourself More Attractive and Build Your Confidence

2. Be mysterious.

While being open about your core values and feelings is key, adding a bit of mystery can keep things exciting. Give him something to look forward to with subtle hints about upcoming plans or surprises — just enough to keep his curiosity piqued.

Pretty early on, when we were still dating, I messaged my partner in a cute good night text: “I’ve got something planned for tomorrow.” Turns out, he loves surprises. 

The whole day, he was buzzing with guesses, texting hints he thought might crack the code. By the time we headed out, the anticipation had turned our date into a little adventure. (I bet you want to know what it was, don’t you? My point exactly.)

Just remember, the goal is to be intriguing, not overly secretive. Creating a sense of anticipation makes the time you spend together feel special and memorable, turning even simple plans into something to look forward to.

3. Make him addicted to your presence.

Keep him addicted to your presence by showing up as your most magnetic self. There’s nothing quite as alluring as radiating positive, joyful energy — the kind that makes him feel truly alive in your presence. 

And when that connection reaches its peak, master the art of the graceful exit, leaving him craving more of your presence. Like Cinderella, who enchanted Prince Charming and then left at the height of his excitement — that’s the energy you want to embody.

When you radiate genuine confidence and warmth, you become irresistible. As relationship experts note, confidence creates a sense of safety and stability, making him feel secure in your presence.

This isn’t about putting on a show — it’s about embodying that authentic joy that makes people feel truly alive around you. If you’re into mysticism, or simply believe in the power of good energy, you’ll know how contagious a positive aura can be.

As relationship expert Esther Perel says, “Love enjoys knowing everything about you; desire needs mystery.”[3] Give him just enough to keep him curious and let the magic of your presence linger long after you’ve said goodbye.

One surefire way to make him miss you like crazy is to show up as your confident, positive self and then flit away just when it’s starting to get interesting.

Read: Texts That Will Make Him Want You: 151 Fun & Flirty Text Messages

4. Use distance to your advantage. 

Distance is a powerful tool in your attraction tool kit — and no, I’m not talking about ghosting, playing hard to get, or being emotionally unavailable. I’m talking about making those moments apart feel electric with anticipation. 

Whether you’re navigating a long-distance relationship or a brief separation, sprinkle your connection by expressing your affection in a way that speaks to him. 

Be it a thoughtful little surprise that keeps you on his mind (flower delivery, why not?), or a spontaneous “just thinking about you” message that makes him smile in the middle of his workday. Share a cute selfie that gives him a glimpse into your world, or drop a playful hint about what you’re planning for your next date

These thoughtful reminders of your presence create a delicious sense of anticipation that makes him count the minutes until he sees you again.

5. Show off your self-determination.

The core of any solid connection begins with your own growth and independence. That’s what makes you magnetic. Instead of letting your life revolve around him, dive into what excites you — whether it’s RPG video games, motivational reads, painting watercolor birds, or dancing around a fire.

Challenge yourself, learn new things, and embrace your passions. If quantum physics is calling your name, go for it! The sky’s the limit.

Take a page from Elle Woods in Legally Blonde. Sure, she went to Harvard chasing her ex, but she found something better along the way: her own strength. 

By focusing on her personal growth, Elle became her own hero, outgrowing her need for anyone else’s validation. By the time her ex wanted her back (of course, he did), she had already moved on from their breakup.

So, stand tall, own who you are, be the captain of your ship, and create happiness that’s all yours. Independence breeds confidence and confidence is irresistible.

6. Create shared experiences that keep him wanting more.

One of the best ways to build a sense of longing is by crafting positive shared experiences

The time when I truly fell for my partner was actually a not-so-positive experience (seemingly). We were in Bali, just cruising around on a rented motorbike, aiming for a killer sunset spot. 

Halfway there, the bike sputtered to a stop in the middle of a rice paddy. We didn’t make it to the sunset, but we ended up building a strong bond through this difficult experience. 

I’m not saying you should book a flight to Bali and stage a motorbike breakdown — that’s a bit too Machiavellian. But creating shared experiences, even with a bit of unexpected difficulty, is a fantastic way to bond.

Studies from UC Berkeley show that shared experiences boost oxytocin, a.k.a. the “love hormone,” which strengthens bonding and trust. Research published in Hormones and Behavior found that doing enjoyable activities together raises oxytocin levels, sparking trust, empathy, and connection.[4]

Every fun, shared moment isn’t just a memory — it’s a little boost to your mutual chemistry. And where there’s chemistry, well, longing follows.

7. Let fewer moments together mean more.

The point is to make the most of your time together, not spend most of your time together. 

A study from the Journal of Communication found that long-distance couples often have more meaningful interactions than those who see each other daily. Because they have to put more effort into communication, these couples tend to share more deeply and feel closer emotionally.[5]

You don’t have to move across the globe just to enhance the quality of your interactions (a long-distance relationship comes with its own set of disadvantages), what I am getting at is making sure that your interactions are meaningful, memorable, and intentional. 

Try asking him something thoughtful, or spark engaging conversations by introducing genuinely interesting topics like childhood experiences or geopolitical views.

There’s a difference between bingeing the next new series on Netflix just because it’s out and looking deep into each other’s eyes and discussing the happiest childhood memories.

Read: 129 Things to Talk About With Your Boyfriend to Strengthen Your Connection

8. Charm him with authenticity.

Open, authentic communication is the key to any healthy connection and, of course, another component that will keep your guy thinking about you even when you’re not around. Why do you think Ursula took Ariel’s voice in The Little Mermaid

Having a voice isn’t just about speaking; it’s about expressing your true self. Ursula knew that robbing Ariel of her voice meant stealing her power to express her authentic self.

When you start geeking out about something you are very passionate about, he sees how unique and unforgettable you are. 

For example, when you talk about how Jurassic Park perfectly illustrates the man vs. nature struggle in which nature will inevitably win because not only is the human part of nature, but life finds a way . . . 

You being unapologetically you, with your views, feelings, and those little brain farts like why is fridge spelled with a d and refrigerator without (can anyone explain that to me!?). It is what builds an emotional bridge that keeps him connected to you, even from a distance. 

So, say the weird thing because your vibe attracts your tribe.

9. Keep him hooked on your appreciation.

If you show him you like him through genuine compliments and appreciation, he’ll miss you even more — because, as research reveals, we’re naturally drawn to people who show they like us. This creates a positive loop that boosts self-esteem and makes every interaction more enjoyable. 

For instance, research published in Human Relations found that perceived liking from others significantly boosts our liking towards them. This effect is more pronounced when the liking feels unique and special rather than general and indiscriminate.[6]

Show him you care with small gestures: Share a song that reminds you of him, send funny memes, sneak a sweet (funny, NSFW) sticky note into his wallet, or gift him a thrifted book you love. 

These micro love gestures will make him miss you and want to be around you even more.


Conclusion

Do you really want to know how to make him miss you like crazy? Be your confident, authentic self. Skip the tricks, and focus on real connection, quality time, and personal growth. Knowing your worth is what truly makes you unforgettable — let that do the work.

If you’re interested in more advice and tips about being in a relationship, follow the link!


FAQs

How do I make him realize my absence?

Make him realize your absence by focusing on living your best life and pursuing your interests. Prioritize building confidence, personal development, happiness, and self-improvement. When you are thriving and content, your absence will naturally become more noticeable. Remember, true connections are built on mutual respect and self-worth.

What makes a man miss you the most?

What makes a man miss you the most is creating special experiences that strengthen your connection. Focus on shared laughter, fun, and meaningful moments together. These positive memories will give him something to reflect on when you are apart, making him more attracted to you.

How do you make someone miss you without talking to them?

To make someone miss you without talking to them, focus on creating positive and memorable experiences together. Avoid using silence or withdrawal as tactics, as healthy relationships rely on open communication. Stay true to yourself, pursue your interests, and give them space to appreciate your presence naturally.


References

1. Bhattacharya, K., Ghosh, A., Monsivais, D., Dunbar, R., & Koski, K. (2017). Absence makes the heart grow fonder: Social compensation when failure to interact risks weakening a relationship. EPJ Data Science, 6(1).
https://doi.org/10.1140/epjds/s13688-016-0097-x

2. de la Rochefoucauld, F. (1982). Maxims. Penguin Classics.

3. Perel, E. (2006). Mating in captivity: Reconciling the erotic and the domestic. Harper. 

4. Feldman, R. (2012). Oxytocin and social affiliation in humans. Hormones and Behavior, 61(3), 380–391.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.yhbeh.2012.01.008

5. Jiang, L. C., Hancock, J. T. (2013). Absence makes the communication grow fonder: Geographic separation, interpersonal media, and intimacy in dating relationships. Journal of Communication, 63(3), 556–577.
https://doi.org/10.1111/jcom.12029

6. Backman, C. W., & Secord, P. F. (1959). The effect of perceived liking on interpersonal attraction. Human Relations, 12(4), 379–384.


Author

  • Milena might not be a relationship professor, but she's definitely been through it all, learned her lessons, and is here to spill the tea. She combines the wisdom of renowned relationship specialists with her own romantic adventures to offer relatable and practical advice.

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