25 Topics to Talk About With a Guy to Get the Conversation Going

By: Milena J. Wisniewska

Exchanging memes is fun, but when you’re interested in someone — or trying to rekindle a fading flame — engaging in meaningful conversations can uncover his values and priorities, whether you’ve known him for two months or twenty years.

Here’s your go-to list of 25 topics to talk about with a guy. 

Interesting Topics to Talk About With a Guy

Flirty debates are the perfect way to mix playful teasing with just a touch of tension. These debates are designed to be handled in a lighthearted way but also to reveal how he thinks and what he values in a relationship. 

Whether you’re “arguing” over dessert or defending your stance on who’s more romantic, asking questions and offering bits of yourself will help you both feel more comfortable with each other and bring you closer. Here are a few questions you can ask to inspire a good conversation:

1. Peanut butter and pickles: culinary genius or crime against food?
2. Is texting or calling better for flirting?
3. Who should make the first move in dating?
4. Dogs vs. cats: Who makes the better companion?
5. Who’s more romantic: men or women?

Ready to level up your game? Check out these flirty text ideas to keep the sparks flying!

Music and its influence

Show me your playlist and I’ll tell you who you are. 

A study published in the Frontiers in Psychology highlights how music plays a crucial role in identity development. It’s a tool that helps us explore our emotions, process experiences, and form a sense of self.^[1]

Whether he’s still that emo kid in a My Chemical Romance tee or sings Nelly in the mirror with a Band-Aid on his cheek, his current music tastes are shaped by the songs that once defined him, and talking about them offers a backstage pass to his personality.

1. Which musical genre resonates with you, and why?
2. Name a song that has deeply influenced your life.
3. How do you think music shapes our emotions and memories?
4. What’s the one song that always lifts your spirits?
5. Is there a song that instantly takes you back to a specific moment? What’s the story?

Favorite movies and TV shows

Talking about movies and TV shows with someone can be a thrilling little window into your compatibility. 

For example, if you’re a MUBI girl, and he’s all about Marvel marathons, well, that might make picking a movie a bit of an adventure.

Not that you need someone whose tastes mirror yours exactly. Where’s the fun in that? But it’s nice to have a bit of overlap in your viewing habits. If you can’t agree on a single show to binge together, that’s a bummer waiting to happen. You might, however, inspire some lively conversations.

1. What types of movies do you like to watch? 
2. What’s the last movie that really stayed with you?
3. Unpopular opinion: Avatar was overrated. Agree or disagree?
4. Which movie or TV show do you associate with your childhood?
5. Which movie or TV show completely changed how you see the world?

Culinary experiences and gastronomy

Food isn’t just what we eat, it’s how we live, connect, and sometimes judge each other. 

Your partner’s eating habits can seriously influence yours — if he’s all about extra-spicy Thai curry and you’re more into Caesar salads, that’s not just a culinary clash; it’s a cultural one! And your taste buds are not going to like it. 

Whether you’re a part-time Michelin-star chef or a takeout enthusiast, knowing where you align (and where you don’t) is key. 

After all, there’s a reason we all remember that Friends episode where Ross has a meltdown over his leftover Thanksgiving sandwich — food matters, and sometimes, it matters a lot.

1. Describe your ideal meal in five words.
2. Do you like cooking, and what’s your signature dish?
3. Dining out or eating in — which do you prefer?
4. What’s your ultimate comfort food?
5. Is there a food you absolutely can’t stand?

Travel and world cultures

Whether it’s learning to appreciate a slow morning espresso in Italy or dancing in a vibrant street festival in Brazil, talking about travel is a way to see how curious he is about the world, how much he enjoys stepping out of his comfort zone, and whether his travel style matches yours. 

A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who spend time in foreign countries tend to be better at solving problems and making connections between different ideas.^[2]

So, while travel might seem like just a fun escape, it’s actually a powerful way to grow, and who knows, swapping stories might just spark your next big adventure together!

1. Do you like to travel? 
2. I’d love to hear more about the countries you’ve visited.
3. Which country or culture has left the biggest impression on you?
4. What’s the most unforgettable trip you’ve ever taken?
5. How has traveling changed how you see the world?

Curious to dive deeper into travel and vacation conversations? Check out the link!

Hobbies and interests

Whether he’s into photography or collecting vintage vinyls, understanding his passions and interests helps you see what drives him outside of work.

Not surprisingly, research published in the Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology shows that engaging in hobbies significantly reduces stress and improve overall well-being​.^[3] 

So, when he’s painting miniatures or woodworking like Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec, his hobbies and interests reveal hidden depths of his personality. 

1. What hobby are you most passionate about, and how did you get into it?
2. If you had a whole day to yourself, how would you spend it?
3. Have you ever turned a hobby into a side hustle?
4. Do you prefer solo hobbies or ones you can do with others?
5. If money and time weren’t an issue, what hobby would you dive into?

Skills or talents

Understanding his skills and talents gives you a glimpse into his passions, strengths, and the unique ways he contributes to the world around him. And, for real, having a partner with useful skills is incredibly handy. 

So, if you’re more into the mental skills, like organization, and he’s great at DIY — or vice versa — that’s fantastic compatibility. And even if you’re both into DIY, you might turn it into a side hustle, like flipping houses or something. The possibilities are endless.

1. Tell me about the skill you’re most proud of.
2. What do you consider your greatest talent?
3. What’s something you excel at naturally?
4. What’s a talent you often use in daily life?
5. Are you more skilled at hands-on activities or mental challenges like trivia?
6. What’s a talent you don’t get to practice enough?

Social media habits

In today’s digital age, social media habits can reveal a lot about someone’s personality and how they interact with the world. 

If he’s all about those digital detoxes, it might be a sign that he’s got a healthy relationship with his phone. But if he uses social media to spread positivity or connect with like-minded people, that’s a good indication he values meaningful connections, even in the digital realm.

People often have strong feelings about social media one way or another, and talking about it can inspire deeper conversations about human connection and the imminent threat of the singularity.

1. What’s your favorite social media platform and why?
2. Do you post often or are you more of a silent scroller?
3. How do you feel about social media in general?
4. Are you more into following trends or doing your own thing online?
5. How do you balance your digital life with your real life?

Art and creative expression

Art isn’t merely about creating something for others to witness — it’s also a powerful way to release creative energy, process emotions, reduce stress, and find peace.

A study published in the American Journal of Public Health highlights how creative expression allows individuals to channel their emotions into something tangible, which in turn helps to process and understand these emotions more effectively.^[4]

Finding out how he expresses himself creatively (or doesn’t) is just as important as asking if he goes to therapy, so it’s a great conversation starter.

1. What’s your preferred form of creative expression?
2. Is there a particular art form that you feel deeply connected to?
3. How does art influence your view of the world?
4. What’s the last piece of art that really moved you?
5. Do you have a favorite artist?

Literature and reading preferences

Literature isn’t just a pastime — it’s practically a way of life!

Sure, I might be a little biased here, but you’ve got to let me geek out about this every now and then. For me, books are the ultimate conversation starter. No books = no dates. I said it!

Whether he’s into sprawling sci-fi epics or personal development guidebooks, what he reads can tell you so much about his interests and how he views the world.

1. Which book has influenced you the most?
2. Do you have a favorite author?
3. What genre do you love reading?
4. What’s the last book you couldn’t stop reading?
5. I’ve read Pride and Prejudice 23 times. Is there a book you’ve read more than once?

Career aspirations and professional growth

Careers can be a gold mine for interesting conversation topics, especially when you’re trying to get to know someone. 

Whether he’s climbing the corporate ladder or still navigating his path, asking the right questions and bringing up work-related topics of conversation can reveal a lot about his professional life. 

If he’s got a side hustle he’s passionate about, you might be chatting with a future mogul — no pressure, of course! 

1. What’s your ultimate career goal?
2. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in your professional life?
3. Do you see yourself in the same field long-term or do you have other aspirations?
4. Tell me a story about someone you’ve hated at a job.
5. How do you handle work-related stress?

Fitness, wellness, and mindfulness

Fitness, wellness, and mindfulness habits are crucial indicators of how someone cares for their mind, body, and soul. 

Whether he’s dedicated to the gym, embraces mindfulness practices, or has a unique workout routine, knowing how he prioritizes his health can reveal a lot about his values and compatibility with yours. 

After all, shared habits in these areas can be key to a healthy (both physically and emotionally) relationship.

1. Do you meditate or practice mindfulness?
2. Do you go to therapy?
3. Do you enjoy spa weekends?
4. What’s your favorite sport?
5. Describe how you relax after a long day.

Family dynamics and upbringing

Family dynamics are a tough subject — not exactly first-date material, or even fifth. They’re a mix of love, chaos, and pain but, eventually, you’ve got to talk about them. There’s no way around it.

A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that couples who openly discuss family histories are better equipped to navigate conflicts and build stronger, more resilient relationships.^[5]

So, whether he’s the oldest child with a built-in leadership complex or the youngest used to getting away with everything, these deep questions will give you a peek into what made him who he is and surely get a conversation going. 

1. What’s your favorite childhood memory?
2. What’s the biggest lesson your parents taught you?
3. Are you more like your mom or dad, and how?
4. How does your family handle disagreements?
5. Would you consider your childhood a happy one? 

Psychological insights and human behavior

Discussing psychology and human behavior will give you profound insight into the state of his emotional capacity, mental being, and moral compass. 

Don’t shy away from asking follow-up questions, and make sure to give him the space to think and share what’s truly on his mind. The best topics are the ones that open the door to even more meaningful conversations.

These are some really deep questions to ask a guy who you’re just getting to know, but they will work just as well with your husband of 10 years. 

1. What motivates people the most — fear, love, or something else?
2. Can people truly change or are our personalities fixed?
3. What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned about human behavior?
4. What do you think causes most human conflicts?
5. Are people more driven by logic or emotion?

Personal growth and life lessons

Talking about personal growth is essential because it’s how we evolve, learn from our experiences, and become better versions of ourselves. 

Discussing it with your partner isn’t just important — it’s transformative. 

When you talk about growth, make sure to ask open-ended questions to get the conversation going, or at least avoid yes-or-no questions. Bringing up personal topics with a guy you’re dating is a powerful way to build a stronger relationship and foster continuous self-improvement together. Just make sure you give as good as you get.

1. Describe the biggest challenge you’ve faced and how it changed you.
2. How do you define success now?
3. What mistake are you grateful for?
4. What habit has improved your life the most?
5. What does personal growth mean to you?

Personal values and ethical beliefs

Discussing values and ethics is crucial for any relationship. It’s a way of showing that you’re genuinely interested in who he is at his core. 

Tastes and preferences may change over time, but personal values stay. 

It’s far more important if you both value integrity and honesty than if you both like Kendrick Lamar — though, based on my knowledge of Kendrick’s work, he seems to value integrity too.

These questions help build a connection that goes beyond the surface, telling you a lot about how he views the world and whether you can make it work in the long run.

1. What core values guide your decisions?
2. How do you define integrity?
3. What cause are you passionate about?
4. Do you believe in absolute right and wrong?
5. When have you had to stand up for your beliefs?

Philanthropy and generosity

Talking philanthropy isn’t just for billionaires with money to burn — everyone can play a part, even if it’s just by donating some spare change or time. 

And if he’s the type to volunteer at a soup kitchen on weekends, well, he’s not just good on paper — he’s good in real life, too.

These questions and statements help you see where his heart is and how he thinks about making an impact. 

1. I always donate to NPR when they ask. Tell me about a cause close to your heart. 
2. Have you volunteered your time or skills before?
3. Which social issue deserves more attention and why?
4. What’s a small way everyone can improve the world?
5. Give me your take on corporate social responsibility — genuine or just PR?

Environmental issues and sustainability

Discussing environmental issues might not be the most exhilarating topic, but it’s crucial — like a spinach smoothie is crucial to your post-workout recovery. 

If he’s a sustainability champ, you might learn a thing or two about reducing your carbon footprint — bonus points if he’s into composting!

1. I’ve started composting. Describe a way you incorporate sustainability into your daily life.
2. What’s your view on renewable energy?
3. Are governments doing enough for the environment?
4. What’s a small eco-friendly change you’ve made?
5. I’m worried about the bees. Are you optimistic or pessimistic about the planet’s future?

Technology and future trends

Tech talk can definitely get a little nerdy, and it’s a sensitive topic to some. I mean, I get annoyed every time someone asks me if AI will replace writers. Ugh . . .

But here’s the thing — this is the world we’re living in, so it’s worth figuring out if you’re chatting with an Elon Musk devotee who’s already designing his own space suit for a Mars mission or a Henry David Thoreau enthusiast who spends weekends building tents out of sticks and moss. 

Interesting questions and statements are a fun way to gauge how someone views the whirlwind of innovation we’re all caught up in.

1. How do you feel about AI and its impact on jobs?
2. In the zombie apocalypse I would most miss my air fryer. Name one piece of technology you can’t live without.
3. Is technology making us more connected or more isolated?
4. What futuristic invention do you wish existed today?
5. What’s the most exciting tech development you’re keeping an eye on?

Philosophical perspectives

Philosophy: Because sometimes you just want to ponder life’s big questions instead of figuring out what to have for dinner. 

But philosophy isn’t only about Kant’s categorical imperative or other abstract concepts. It plays a crucial role in how we understand the world and each other. 

A study published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that engaging in philosophical discussions can significantly enhance empathy and perspective taking. 

When people explore deep questions and topics together, it helps them better understand and respect each other’s values and worldviews.^[6] 

So, discussing these philosophical questions isn’t just about pondering life’s big mysteries — it’s a way to get to know him better. 

1. What’s your personal philosophy on life?
2. Do you believe in fate or do we make our own destiny?
3. How do you define happiness?
4. Do you think people are inherently good or inherently selfish?
5. How do you find meaning in difficult times?

Political views and social justice

Politics can be tricky to discuss, but when you’re trying to grow closer through conversation, it’s important to touch on certain topics to see where you both stand. 

You don’t have to agree on everything, but certain issues, such as racial injustice or gender equality, might be deal-breakers if you’re not aligned.

Asking these questions can lead to deep conversations and help you find common interests. Whether you agree or disagree, it’s a great way to get to know each other better. 

Plus, if you can navigate these discussions without tension, it’s a good sign you can handle other tough topics together.

1. What political issue do you feel strongly about?
2. How do you stay informed on current events?
3. Is voting a duty, a right, or both?
4. How do you balance beliefs with respecting others?
5. Can individuals drive societal change?

Global affairs and international relations

Talking about global affairs might make you feel like Bridget Jones trying to discuss conflict in Chechnya at a dinner with Daniel Cleaver.

But silliness aside, talking about what’s happening in the world is a great way to get to know him better and understand his outlook on the globalized world. 

They are not exactly the sort of questions you’d ask to break the ice, but they give him a chance to share his thoughts on important global issues. 

Plus, if you both enjoy talking about these topics, you’ve found something engaging to explore together. 

1. What’s a global issue you think deserves more attention?
2. Do you think the world is getting better or worse?
3. How do you feel about countries working together to solve problems?
4. Should leaders focus more on their own country or on the world as a whole?
5. What recent world event do you think will be most notorious in the future?

Cultural and religious beliefs

Cultural and religious beliefs can be a bit of a minefield and are often to be avoided at a dinner table with the fam. But they’re also very important to discuss in a potential relationship. 

Just like political discussions, you don’t have to agree on everything, and you shouldn’t force or feel forced to follow the same belief system. However, knowing what your partner believes in is absolutely essential in a relationship.

These are some of the best questions to ask if you want to understand what traditions, beliefs, and practices are important to him. And if he’s got a killer explanation for why his culture’s New Year celebration is the best, you know you’re in for some fun festivities. 

Trivia time! The Dutch listen to “Bohemian Rhapsody” at midnight on New Year’s. Isn’t that just so cool? 

1. What’s your most important cultural tradition?
2. How does cultural diversity enrich society, in your opinion?
3. Are you against cultural appropriation? Why or why not?
4. What role does religion play in your life?
5. How do you handle religious or cultural differences in relationships?

Hypothetical scenarios and thought experiments

Hypothetical questions are like playgrounds for the mind, and they say a lot about how the person handles abstract concepts and creates solutions. 

One well-known study often cited in discussions about creativity and problem-solving, explored in the 1992 book Creative Cognition, explores how people generate and develop creative ideas through mental imagery and thought experiments.^[7]

Whether you’re texting a guy or having a face-to-face chat, these are fun questions to ask that can lead to deeper discussions.

1. Would you rather live 100 years in the past or 100 years in the future?
2. If you could solve one global issue with the snap of your fingers, what would it be?
3. What would you do if you won the lottery tomorrow?
4. Would you rather know the date of your death or the cause of your death?
5. Would you rather be loved by everyone but never have a close relationship or have one deep relationship but be disliked by others?

Vision for the future and long-term goals

Bringing up the future and asking personal questions gives him a chance to talk about where he sees himself in the future and how it matches with your vision. 

And if his dreams for the future include buying an island and living off the grid, you’ll know he dreams big!

1. Describe where you see yourself in five years.
2. How do you balance short-term pleasures with long-term ambitions?
3. How do you envision your retirement?
4. What’s a legacy you want to leave behind?
5. What’s your purpose in life?

Curious to dive deeper into what makes a high-value man? Check out the link.

Conclusion

There you have it — a comprehensive list of topics to talk about with a guy that will not only keep the conversation going but also deepen your understanding of who he is.

Whether you’re just getting to know him or rekindling an old flame, these topics are sure to lead to meaningful and fun conversations. 

Remember, active listening and showing genuine interest will help the conversation flow naturally, revealing the layers of his personality.

Want to learn more about starting a relationship? Check out our page here.

References

1. Welch, G. F., Biasutti, M., MacRitchie, J., McPherson, G. E., & Himonides, E. (2020). The impact of music on human development and well-being. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, 1246.
   https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.01246 ↩︎
2. Maddux, W. W., & Galinsky, A. D. (2009). Cultural borders and mental barriers: The relationship between living abroad and creativity. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 96(5), 1047–1061.
   https://doi.org/10.1037/a0014861 ↩︎
3. Eschleman, K. J., Madsen, J., Alarcon, G., & Barelka, A. (2014). Benefiting from creative activity: The positive relationships between creative activity, recovery experiences, and performance-related outcomes. Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology, 87(3), 579–598.
   https://doi.org/10.1111/joop.12064 ↩︎
4. Stuckey, H. L., & Nobel, J. (2009). The connection between art, healing, and public health: A review of current literature. American Journal of Public Health, 100(2), 254–63.
   https://doi.org/10.2105/AJPH.2008.156497 ↩︎
5. Dinero, R. E., Conger, R. D., Shaver, P. R., Widaman, K. F., & Larsen-Rife, D. (2008). Influence of family of origin and adult romantic partners on romantic attachment security. Journal of Family Psychology, 22(4), 622–32.
   https://doi.org/10.1037/a0012506 ↩︎
6. Batson, C. D., Early, S., & Salvarani, G. (1997). Perspective taking: Imagining how another feels versus imagining how you would feel. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23(7), 751–758.
   https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167297237008 ↩︎
7. Finke, R. A., Ward, T. B., & Smith, S. M. (1992). Creative cognition: Theory, research, and applications. The MIT Press. ↩︎