Forget Inception — decoding a man’s interest is the real mind-bender. If you’ve found yourself squinting at a guy, trying to decipher if his smile means “I’m interested in you romantically” or “I remembered a meme,” then this summary of powerful signs of male attraction is for you.
Conscious and Subconscious Signs a Man Is Into You
1. He struts his stuff
I call it “the peacock effect.” The guy you’ve had your eye on starts strutting around like he’s on a catwalk. His chest puffs out, his stance widens, and he might even do that weird thing where he hooks his thumbs into his belt loops.
Congratulations! You’ve just witnessed the human equivalent of a peacock’s mating dance.
When a man is attracted to you, he’ll instinctively strive to make himself appear larger and more dominant.
And if a dude starts showing off random skills around you, he’s trying to impress your socks off. Maybe he suddenly knows how to juggle, or he’s doing one-handed push-ups, or he’s solving a Rubik’s cube while blindfolded. He probably practiced that trick for hours in his room.
Scholars like Margaret Waller claim that peacocking results from the division of labor between men and women and the notion that males vie with one another for women’s attention.[1] Such competition not only influences individual interactions, but also shapes broader societal norms regarding masculinity and attractiveness.
All this peacocking boils down to him wanting you to be as emotionally or sexually attracted to him as he is to you.
2. He tries to look good around you
If you spot a guy suddenly fixing his hair, straightening his clothes, or even (brace yourself) sucking in his gut when you’re around, you’ve hit the attraction jackpot.
This grooming behavior is his way of saying, “Hey, look at me! I’m put-together and not the guy who eats pizza in his underwear while binge-watching reality TV.” Spoiler alert: He is that guy but wants you to think otherwise.
You may also notice he suddenly becomes very interested in his appearance. His personal style goes from Chris Hemsworth after a workout to Chris Hemsworth at the Met Gala. He might even ask your opinion: “What do you think of my new digs?”
If he’s seeking your approval on his looks and style, it’s because he wants to look good for you. He’s auditioning for the role of Attractive Man in Your Life, and you’re the casting director.
3. He makes eye contact
When a man is crushing on you, he will be drawn to you like a moth to a flame. If you catch him looking at you more often than he looks at his phone (and that’s a big deal in this day and age), then you’ve got his attention.
Bonus point if he maintains eye contact for longer than usual when he looks at you. Just try not to get lost in those eyes, or you might forget to notice the other signs a man is falling for you!
Research published in Frontiers of Psychology indicates that “perception of mere eye gaze automatically activates observers’ emotions and that the instinctual ‘gut feeling’ to eye contact is positive.”[2] This suggests that eye contact not only conveys interest but also enhances emotional connections between individuals.
This may seem subtle but it’s actually a pretty good sign of attraction. So when a man stares at you, you know what’s probably going on. (Probably only a 1% chance he’s a weirdo.)
4. His pupils dilate and other body language clues
When someone is attracted to another person, their pupils may dilate as part of their body’s natural response to emotional arousal. If you catch him gazing at you with dilated pupils, it could be a strong indication that he finds you attractive.
But dilated pupils aren’t the only body language sign of attraction. If you’re wondering if a guy is attracted to you, look for other obvious or more subtle signs as well:
- lip licking
- fidgeting
- smiling
- eyebrow flash
- open posture
- crossing and uncrossing legs
- flared nostrils
- flushed cheeks
- mirroring
- leaning toward you
- blinking a lot
- tilted head
A flash of the eyebrows happens so fast you might miss it if you blink. Health Digest reveals that, “an ‘eyebrow flash’ happens fast but it could be a clear sign that someone is into you. Most of the time, it only takes one fifth of a single second to show this sign.”[3]
If you notice his cheeks or ears getting a bit red when he’s around you, it might not be because he’s been out in the sun too long. A study published in PLOS ONE found that emotional arousal, such as attraction, significantly increases heart rate and blood flow to the face, leading to blushing.[4]
5. He makes you laugh
Does he laugh at your jokes, even the ones that are so bad they’d make a dad cringe? Does he seem to find you funnier than that one friend who always posts memes? If so, he’s probably attracted to you.
Men love to use humor as a way to bond, and if he’s going way out of his way to appreciate your sense of humor, he’s definitely into you. Just don’t let it go to your head; you’re probably not as funny as he’s making you feel!
According to researchers Li et al., “We seek and rapidly notice humor whether we’re interacting with a stranger or a friend, or looking for a potential romantic partner.” [5]
6. He finds excuses to touch you
If he finds excuses to initiate innocent physical contact — a light touch on your arm, a playful nudge, or even the classic “Oh, you’ve got something in your hair, let me get that for you” — it’s his way of testing the waters to see how you respond.
Just remember, if the touching makes you uncomfortable, it’s perfectly okay to set boundaries. You’re not a petting zoo, after all! And if he doesn’t respect those boundaries, it doesn’t matter that he’s attracted to you. That’s a red flag.
7. He uses your name a lot
Listen closely — does he use your name more often than necessary in conversation? It’s common for people to have entire conversations without using someone’s name, so making a point to do so is notable. If he’s dropping your name like it’s the new hottest slang, he’s probably attracted to you.
According to the Valens Clinic in Dubai, “Using an individual’s name when addressing them directly is a powerful relationship-developing strategy. It conveys attention and a wish to engage personally. In formal circumstances, it denotes acceptance and admiration.”[6]
This man is using your name over and over to inspire a feeling of connectedness, to subliminally signal that he is interested in growing closer to you.
8. He’s chivalrous
Despite the fact that the medieval laws of chivalry were quite arbitrary and ineffectual, and had not much to do with women at all[7], chivalry is now associated with a magnanimous and respectful treatment of women. (The irony of chivalry is surely not lost on anyone familiar with the plight of medieval women.)
In the year 2024, chivalry remains venerable and “benevolent sexism,” one of the most obvious and romantic ways for a man to express his devotion to a woman.[8] It’s characterized by “extreme politeness and considerate behavior,” such as the fairy-tale move of laying down one’s jacket for a woman to step across a puddle.
Does he suddenly turn into a knight in shining armor when you’re around? Opening doors, offering his jacket, or rushing to help you with heavy objects?
While these gestures can simply be signs of good manners, if they’re accompanied by other signs on this list, it’s likely that he’s trying to impress you.
9. His social media attention increases
In this digital age, people can feel attraction without relying solely on face-to-face interactions. If you notice he’s suddenly very active on your social media — liking your posts, commenting on your posts, or even sliding into your DMs — he’s probably interested.
This increased engagement can be a strong indicator of his desire to connect with you on a deeper level. Social media provides a platform for him to express his feelings in a more casual and less intimidating way, allowing him to gauge your emotions and build rapport.
10. He is nervous around you
Contrary to popular belief, not all men turn into smooth-talking Casanovas when they’re attracted to someone. If he stumbles over his word, fidgets more than usual, or suddenly develops a fascination with his shoes when talking to you, he might be nervous because he likes you.
It’s like his brain is saying, “Quick! She’s looking at you! Say something cool!” While his mouth is saying, “Durrr . . . nice weather we’re having, huh?”
According to 280 participants in a study by Susan Hughes et al, following a first meeting with someone they thought was very beautiful, the participants did suffer a range of physiological and behavioral symptoms.[9]
Many of these signs of nervousness, such as sweating, fidgeting, blushing, and touching one’s face, are observable. If you think he’s nervous around you, he’s either stolen money out of your purse or he’s totally attracted to you.
11. He’s jealous
Does he seem a little tense when other guys are around you? Maybe he stands a little closer, speaks a little louder, or suddenly remembers he has biceps he can flex? This subtle (or not-so-subtle) display of jealousy can be a sign he’s attracted to you.
It’s his caveman brain kicking in, saying, “Me like you. You mine. Grr.”
Research shows that a little bit of jealousy can be a good thing “linked to positive relationship outcomes such as increased commitment.”[10]
Just make sure it doesn’t cross the line into possessive behavior —- you’re a strong, independent woman, not a trophy to be won!
12. He always wants to spend time with you
Imagine the guy from your yoga class keeps popping up at your friend’s barbecue, casually flipping burgers as you enjoy veggie skewers. Or your neighbor is always in line behind you at the café, ready to chat about the latest episode of The Last of Us (if it ever comes back).
It’s like he’s trying to pencil himself into your calendar without actually asking you out. He’s planting little seeds of future dates, hoping they’ll grow into a big old relationship tree.
A coworker “happens” to need a printer when you head to the break room. An acquaintance always shows up at trivia night. These charming coincidences scream interest!
13. He’s particularly communicative
In this modern age of phones and DMs, pay attention to how fast he texts back. If he’s replying faster than you can say “bit clingy,” he’s into you. He’s probably glued to his phone, waiting for your message.
And if he double texts? Oh boy, he’s got it bad. It’s the modern equivalent of sitting by the phone, waiting for it to ring. Just don’t let him know you’ve noticed or his ego might inflate faster than a bounce house at a kid’s birthday party.
When a Man Is Intensely Attracted to a Woman
When a man is intensely attracted to a woman, his feelings can be deeply impactful and multifaceted. In fact, BetterHelp reports that men both believe in love at first sight more than women and say “I love you” first in higher numbers than women.[11]
Physically, such intense attraction triggers responses like increased heart rate, sweating, and butterflies in the stomach. These reactions heighten awareness of the woman’s presence and lead to many of the sure signs we covered above.
However, such intense attraction may cause obsessive thoughts, with men daydreaming about the woman and replaying interactions.
According to a 1998 article in the William and Mary Journal of Women and the Law, “Wherever there is the possibility for romantic interaction and attachment, there is also the possibility for obsessive attraction, and stalking tendencies.”[12]
This may explain why 88% of women who experience stalking were stalked by a man.[13]
None of this is to say that a man who is attracted to you is going to turn into a stalker. Only “8% of women and 2% of men have been stalked at some time during their lives.”[14] But it is a testament to the intensity with which men feel attraction.
That’s why telling if a guy likes you or not is relatively straightforward.
Conclusion
While these powerful signs of male attraction help, every man is different. Trust your instincts, and if you sense a connection, there likely is one. If you’re unsure, you can always ask!
Above all, enjoy the journey. Whether single or partnered, the most important relationship is with yourself. Be your true self, and you will attract the right person to you. Go forth and confidently navigate the dating world.
If you’re looking for more information about getting into a relationship, just click the link!
FAQ
How do men signal attraction?
Men signal attraction through body language and subtle behaviors. Look for signs like frequent eye contact, leaning in when talking, and mirroring your gestures.
What are the most obvious signs that a guy likes you?
The most obvious signs that a guy likes you include maintaining eye contact, initiating conversations, using your name often, and being extra helpful or protective around you.
How do you test if a guy is attracted to you?
You test if a guy is attracted to you by paying attention to his responses. Subtly flirt, maintain eye contact, or initiate light physical contact to see how he reacts. If he reciprocates, he’s probably attracted to you.
References
1. Waller, M. (2016). Trouble in Argus City: Peacocking, invisibility, and masculinity. Romanic Review. 107(1–4), 25–46.
2. Jari, K. (2018). Affective eye contact: An integrative review. Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 1587.
https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.01587
3. Calderon, K. (2023). Physical signs that might mean someone is into you. Health Digest.
https://www.healthdigest.com/244415/physical-signs-that-might-mean-someones-into-you/
4. aan het Rot, M., Moskowitz, D. S., and de Jong, P. J. (2015). Intrapersonal and interpersonal concomitants of facial blushing during everyday social encounters. PLOS ONE, 10(2), e0118243.
https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0118243
5. Li, N. P., Griskevicius, V., Durante, K. M., Jonason, P. K., Pasisz, D. J., & Aumer, K. (2009). An evolutionary perspective on humor: Sexual selection or interest indication? Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 35(7), 923–936.
https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167209334786
6. Psychology of calling someone by their name. (n.d.) The Valens Clinic.
https://thevalensclinic.ae/update/psychology-of-calling-someone-by-their-name/
7. Stacey, R. C. (1994). The age of chivalry. In The Laws of War: Constraints on Warfare in the Western World (G. Andreopoulos and M. R. Shulman, Eds.), 27. Yale University Press.
https://doi.org/10.12987/9780300174885-004
8. Viki, G. T., Abrams, D., & Hutchison, P. (2003). The “true” romantic: Benevolent sexism and paternalistic chivalry. Sex Roles, 49, 533–537.
https://kar.kent.ac.uk/4545/1/viki_true_romantic.pdf
9. Hughes, S. M., Harrison, M. A. & de Haan, K. M. (2020). Perceived nervous reactions during initial attraction and their potential adaptive value. Adaptive Human Behavior and Physiology, 6, 30–56.
https://doi.org/10.1007/s40750-019-00127-y
10. Elphinston, R. A., Feeney, J. A., Noller, P., Connor, J. P., & Fitzgerald, J. (2013). Romantic jealousy and relationship satisfaction: The costs of rumination. Western Journal of Communication, 77(3), 293–304.
https://doi.org/10.1080/10570314.2013.770161
11. BetterHelp Editorial Team. (2024, August 20). How do men fall in love? BetterHelp.
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/love/how-men-fall-in-love-psychology-of-the-male-brain-in-love/
12. Lee, R. K. (1997). Romantic and electronic stalking in a college context. The William & Mary Journal of Women and the Law, 4, 373.
https://scholarship.law.wm.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1263&context=wmjowl
13. Stalking statistics & facts. (n.d.). Safe Horizon.
https://www.safehorizon.org/get-informed/stalking-statistics-facts/
14. Mechanic, M. (2000). Fact sheet on stalking. National Violence Against Women Prevention Research Center.
https://mainweb-v.musc.edu/vawprevention/research/stalking
