Whether he’s sending you flirty emojis or getting poetic about your last selfie, translating these 11 signs his texts say he wants you sexually will help you determine if he’s in it for a coffee date or hoping to skip straight to dessert. 😉
Key Takeaways
- Learn the 11 signs that a man wants you badly sexually through text.
- Recognize when a guy is trying to communicate his desires subtly or explicitly.
- Understand how texting patterns can reveal his true intentions.
- Gain insights into the psychological aspects of sexual attraction in the digital age.
- Get expert-backed advice and real-life examples to help you read between the lines.
11 Signs His Texts Say He Wants You Sexually
In person, it’s much easier to discern mutual attraction. But a lot can get lost in translation through text.
1. The emoji overload
If his texts are suddenly peppered with fire emojis, winks, or the devil horns 😈, it’s probably not because he accidentally rolled over his phone in his sleep.
Studies of modern dating techniques, including one published in PLOS ONE, find that people frequently use emojis to flirt. The researchers highlight that “emojis convey important affective information to potential partners, and are potentially associated with more successful intimate connection.”[1]
So, if you notice a sudden influx of winks, grins, and other obscure fruit-and-veg-related emojis, take it as a playful sign that he wants you badly — sexually.
2. Late-night texts
“You up?” “What you up to?” . . . you know the texts, the ones that slide in just as you’re about to drift off to sleep. Late-night messages often indicate a desire for intimacy, and I mean sexual desire for sexual intimacy.
But hold on, it’s not just because you’re irresistibly hot, though I’m sure you probably are.
A study published in Reviews in Endocrine and Metabolic Disorders highlights how testosterone in men peaks in the morning and gradually drops off during the day, but some studies suggest it might tick up a bit again in the evening. This natural rhythm is tied to sexual desire, which could explain why those late-night texts often have a flirty or suggestive tone.[2]
So, if he’s consistently messaging you dirty pickup lines late at night, it’s a clear sign that he’s thinking about you in a more sexual way.
3. Compliments that turn up the heat
Sure, a “You’re beautiful” is sweet, but if he’s saying things like “You looked so sexy in that dress last night,” it’s a whole different ball game.
Sexual compliments, especially those that zero in on your physical appearance, are a clear signal that he’s fantasizing about you. The more specific and intimate the compliment, the more it reveals that his thoughts about you are anything but platonic.
However, if his messages cross into territory that makes you uncomfortable, it’s essential to remember that you have every right to set boundaries. That you encouraged or responded to his other messages up until now doesn’t mean you can’t stop them when they go too far.
Nonconsensual sexually explicit messages aren’t just unwelcome — they are a form of harassment. Set your boundaries clearly, and don’t hesitate to shut down anything that feels inappropriate.
Remember, consent is key in any interaction, and your comfort comes first.
4. Asking for pics
When he’s asking for pictures that are a bit more on the steamy side — not necessarily nudes, but more revealing or suggestive like full-body pics — he’s signaling a strong sexual interest.
These requests are about seeing more of you, in a way that stimulates his fantasies.
Whether it’s a picture of you in a little black dress or something more intimate, these requests are his way of pushing the boundaries a bit, testing the waters to see if you’re open to a more sexually charged dynamic.
But let’s not ignore the elephant in the room — asking for nudes.
It might be one of the Internet’s favorite jokes, but in reality, it happens more often than you might think.
As a grown woman, you’re free to make your own decisions about sharing intimate photos, still here are some practical, hands-on tips to keep in mind:
- Use disappearing messages: This adds an extra layer of privacy, as the image vanishes after being viewed.
- Keep your face out of it: If you do decide to share something intimate, avoid showing your face or any identifying marks, like tattoos.
- Check your digital trail: Before sending anything, make sure your device is secure. Consider using apps that encrypt messages or provide additional privacy features.
- Trust your gut: Only share if you feel 100% comfortable. Sextortion is a serious concern. If something feels off or you feel pressured, don’t hesitate to say no.
Bottom line, if he wants to see more of you and you’re into the idea of keeping things spicy, that’s perfectly fine. Go ahead and have fun with it, but always stay cautious, and remember that no image is worth risking your peace of mind or safety.
5. His texts get suggestive
Subtlety isn’t always his strongest suit; his texts start leaning toward the suggestive, with phrases like “I wish you were here right now” or “I can’t stop thinking about last night.” This is his way of dropping hints about what’s really on his mind and inviting you to play along.
Interestingly, according to a study published in the journal Computers in Human Behavior, sexting is more common among individuals with insecure attachment styles, particularly those with attachment avoidance. This suggests that his sexts might reflect deeper emotional needs or insecurities.[3]
Now, that’s a spin you didn’t see coming!
But if you really think about it, knowing that men are more likely to initiate sexting and are on average more avoidant, it’s not that surprising — it actually makes sense.
In any case, I might be reaching here, but sexting can be fun if you’re into it. Go ahead, send that flirty text message. And if you’re not into it? Well, maybe you’re just securely attached. Don’t look at me! That’s what the study says!
6. He brings up past encounters
When a guy repeatedly references a steamy past encounter, he’s reminiscing for a reason. He’s trying to reignite that spark, make sure you’re thinking about it too.
It’s like Noah in The Notebook when he retells their love story, bringing up that intense, rain-soaked kiss with Allie, a moment so powerful it’s etched in his memory forever (and ours).
While Noah does this to reignite the romance and remind Allie of their deep connection, your guy may be subtly reminding you of the undeniable chemistry you share, and if I’m being honest, he’s probably hoping your body is still very much up for a rerun.
7. He talks about the future — but in a steamy way
When he starts planning future outings that sound more like scenes from a Harlequin romance novel than your typical Saturday brunch, it’s a strong sign that his thoughts are heading in a more sensual direction.
In all seriousness, if he’s trying to fast-forward your relationship into settings that are heavy on ambiance and light on distractions, he’s probably imagining a lot more than just a fun weekend.
It’s essential to gauge how comfortable you feel with these future scenarios. If you’re into it, great! But if it feels rushed or too forward, it’s okay to set the pace that works for you.
8. He teases you
Ah, the age-old art of teasing — one of the oldest tricks in the flirtation handbook, especially for boys men who weren’t taught to process their emotions effectively.
Research published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior defines sexual teasing as “a form of provocation characterized by the promise of sexual contact followed by withdrawal. The intention is to frustrate or cause tension in the target, such as frustration or embarrassment, and incorporates some use of power of one person over another.”[4]
I couldn’t put it better myself, but isn’t it funny that they needed a whole study to define that?
In layperson’s terms, teasing allows people to express interest while maintaining a playful, non-threatening vibe. So, if he’s pulling a Bridget Jones’s Daniel Cleaver on you, throwing around comments about your nonexistent skirt, it’s probably because he’d like to see you without it.
(For the sake of good order, it’s worth noting that those scenes now highlight how much our views on workplace flirting have changed — thankfully for the better. But that’s a topic for another article!)
It may be a good idea to keep an eye on this sort of behavior and view antagonist or aggressive teasing as a red flag.
Take another look at the study I quoted above, and note the words antagonistic, tension, frustration, and embarrassment, as well as the use of power of one person over another.
Not exactly the makings of a healthy relationship.
Some lighthearted teasing, though, as long as it’s welcome, is a sure sign he’d like to tease you out of your skirt.
9. He asks about your fantasies
When the conversation drifts into fantasy territory, it’s a clear signal that he’s curious about your desires and where your mind is at.
Discussing fantasies can unlock a deeper connection and lead to some intense adventures if you’re well-matched.
Esther Perel, in her bestseller Mating in Captivity, writes, “Like dreams and works of art, fantasies are far more than what they appear to be on the surface. They’re complex psychic creations whose symbolic content mustn’t be translated into literal intent. ‘Think poetry, not prose.’”[5]
But here’s the thing — this is only a positive sign if you feel comfortable engaging in this kind of conversation. Everyone has different boundaries, and it’s perfectly okay if you’re not ready to share your deepest desires via text.
If his questions feel too forward or invasive, it’s your prerogative to steer the conversation in a direction that feels right for you. Dating violence can happen to anyone, and it can even happen over text, as can sexual coercion, which isn’t a social faux pas. It’s a crime.
10. He brags about his skills
When a guy starts bragging about his skills and, especially, how great he is in the bedroom, it’s one of the clearest signs he wants you badly. Consider it a recruitment campaign. But as they say, great talkers are often little doers. Still, when he’s flexing his bedroom skills, he’s definitely hoping you’ll be curious enough to test if he can back it up.
A study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior found that self-promotion, especially about sexual abilities, is a common tactic men use to boost their desirability and status with potential mates.[6]
It’s hard not to think of that scene in Anchorman where Ron Burgundy tries to seduce Veronica by busting out his “jazz flute” skills — it’s more cringeworthy than seductive, but you can’t fault him for trying!
11. He invites you to his place
An invite to his man cave is the final step in taking things off-screen and making them real.
When the conversation shifts from playful texting to “Netflix and chill” or a home-cooked dinner at his place, it’s obvious his intentions are leaning toward a steamy sleepover.
So, when he drops that final “Why don’t you come over?” message, the hint couldn’t be clearer. He’s not beating around the bush — he wants you, and he wants you badly. If you want him as badly as he obviously wants you, pack your toothbrush and get over there, girl!
Conclusion
Understanding the signs his texts say he wants you sexually is like becoming fluent in a new language.
But in text, you can’t rely on body language or suggestive eye contact to know if a guy wants you. It’s like you’re unraveling an ancient language — except instead of hieroglyphs, you analyze pages of winky faces and eggplant emojis.
Want to explore more topics about getting in a relationship, visit our page here.
FAQs
How can you tell if a man wants you sexually?
To tell if a man wants you sexually, pay attention to the frequency and tone of his texts, the use of flirty language, and how often he tries to steer the conversation toward more intimate topics.
How can you tell if a guy is sexually attracted to you over text?
To tell if a guy is sexually attracted to you over text, look for signs like late-night messages, compliments on your physical appearance, and suggestive comments. If he’s consistently trying to turn the conversation in a sexual direction, it’s a strong indication.
How do you know if he is thinking about you sexually?
You know he is thinking about you sexually if he’s texting you at odd hours, asking for photos, or referencing intimate moments from the past. This behavior is likely because you’re on his mind in a more-than-friendly way.
References
- Gesselman, A. N., Ta, V. P., & Garcia, J. R. (2019). Worth a thousand interpersonal words: Emoji as affective signals for relationship-oriented digital communication. PLOS ONE, 14(8).
https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0221297 ↩︎ - Liu, P.Y., Reddy, R.T. (2022). Sleep, testosterone and cortisol balance, and ageing men. Reviews in Endocrine and Metabolic Disorders, 23, 1323–1339.
https://doi.org/10.1007/s11154-022-09755-4 ↩︎ - Drouin, M., & Landgraff, C. (2012). Texting, sexting, and attachment in college students’ romantic relationships. Computers in Human Behavior, 28(2), 444–449.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2011.10.015 ↩︎ - Meston, C. M., O’Sullivan, L. F. (2007). Such a tease: Intentional sexual provocation within heterosexual interactions. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 36, 531–542.
https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-006-9167-7 ↩︎ - Perel, E. (2006). Mating in captivity: Unlocking erotic intelligence. HarperCollins. ↩︎
- Meston, C. M., & Buss, D. M. (2007). Why humans have sex. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 36(4), 477–507.
https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-007-9175-2 ↩︎
