Does He Like Me? 12 Subtle Signs He’s Totally Into You

Starting a Relationship

By: Claudette van Rensburg

The ultimate question asked by thousands of wondering minds! Even Bridget Jones thought Darcy hated her for most of the film.

Here’s how to find the answer to the question keeping you up at night: “Does he like me?”

Table of Contents:

12 Subtle Signs a Guy Likes You

If you want to determine that he’s not just a nice guy, there are some signs a guy likes you that are hard to miss.

You’ll want to familiarize yourself with these signs because some men are afraid to act on their feelings, and if you can’t tell he likes you, he may end up the one who gets away.

But don’t forget — it’s 2024, so we all know by now that you can’t really predict a person’s behavior based on gender. These signs may apply to many men but certainly not all.

1. Gives body language cues

When a guy likes you, his body language might be writing it out in neon lights. Leaning in when you speak, mirroring your movements, and finding excuses to touch you are all green lights. 

If he’s making sustained eye contact, or if you catch him frequently throwing a glance your way, chances are he’s interested. Eyes are the windows to the soul, so if he’s looking into yours often, he’s probably hooked. 

Did you catch him raising his eyebrows? Even a quick raise of the eyebrows can show he’s attracted to you. 

“Though this is an easily recognizable sign of attraction, you may have to be quick to notice it. An ‘eyebrow flash’ happens fast, but it could indicate someone is into you,” explains the folks over at Health Digest.[1] 

A little awkwardness or nervous behavior around you can also be a sign that he really likes you. If you make him feel nervous and he’s fumbling with his words or seems a bit shy, it could be because he’s crushing hard. 

The human body simply cannot help but play all sorts of tricks when a love interest occurs. 

Elizabeth Kane, a professor at South University specializing in clinical psychology and behavioral science, explains that this “initial attraction is . . . the powerful moment when we meet another person and feel energized and are immediately aware of our heart pounding.”[2]

It can be difficult for people to hide such physiological symptoms in the presence of their crush. So read his body language cues, and you’ll be well on your way to discovering the truth.

2. Pays attention to you 

When a guy is really interested in you, he will pay attention to you.

This is a natural and subconscious behavior, even supported by scientific research. 

According to a study published in Evolutionary Psychology, “Paying attention to a partner allows an individual to communicate his or her interest in the relationship with the partner.”

Authors Ohtsubo and Yamaguchi tell us, “Previous studies have revealed that when Person A pays attention to Person B, B’s feeling of intimacy toward A increases.”[3]

Therefore, paying attention is one of the first signs that they like you and may be keen on a romantic relationship with you. It is also the love potion that will feed your liking for them! 

3. Initiates and maintains contact

If a guy is willing to carve out a chunk of their precious time for you, even when his schedule looks like a game of Tetris at level 99, he likes you. 

That’s not just a casual nod of the head. That’s a full-on, neon-lit declaration of, “Hey, you matter to me!” 

If he has been doing so for longer than six months, that means he really cares. 

When someone prioritizes you, even when it’s a logistical nightmare for them, it’s like finding a unicorn in a haystack. 

It’s rare, it’s magical, and it speaks volumes. 

4. Displays interest in your interests

There’s nothing quite like being on a first date with a guy who talks about himself the whole time and doesn’t ask you anything about yourself.

A guy who likes you will ask you questions and listen intently to your stories, remembering every detail like they were the lyrics to an early 90s rap song. 

Someone who listens to your dreams, hopes, and aspirations is worth keeping. It’s nice to be with a partner who’s genuinely interested in your words and eager to join the discussion. 

If he isn’t just nodding when you mention your love for mountain climbing but he’s asking thoughtful questions that keep the conversation engaging — he likes you!

Have you recently told him about an important event or work deadline that has had you running around? If he follows up with you and asks you how it went, he’s displaying genuine interest and confirming that you are important to him.

5. Goes out of his way for you 

People don’t tend to inconvenience themselves for just anyone. If he’s going out of his way to do things for you or help you out, he likes you. 

This is especially beneficial to you in your love language is acts of service.

Love language of course refers to the groundbreaking book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. In a test of Chapman’s theory, author Mantova found that “the second most favored love language was acts of service, which refers to kind gestures and helpful actions performed by a partner that makes them feel loved and valued.”[4]

This could include doing favors, making time for you, or helping when needed. Anything that makes you stand out clearly shows that he fancies you. Even bringing you tacos. 

Mantova goes on to say that “when someone offers to take on a task or helps without being asked, it conveys care and a genuine interest in the other person’s well-being.”

Translation: This guy likes you.

6. Introduces you to his inner circle

If he likes you, he’ll introduce you to his close friends and family. It’s a good sign that he sees a future with you and wants you to be a part of their life. 

This is also a good time to do some sleuthing. If you aren’t serious with him yet and meeting his friends and family reveals some red flags about him, this stage can help you know if you should bounce.

If he seems to shy away from introducing you to his inner circle, it means he is just not that into you or isn’t ready to get serious. 

It’s safe to say that the opinions of those in our inner circle matter the most. If he introduces you to his close friends and family, he’s seeking acceptance from these important people in his life.

At this point, this guy probably likes you more than just likes you and is looking for a long-term commitment with you in the picture.

7. Shares personal information

If a guy likes you, he will naturally start sharing personal information. Has he told you about his fondest childhood memories? Is your level of inside info more in-depth than usual?

If so, that’s a good sign that he feels comfortable and trusts you. 

Sharing personal information is a way to build trust and emotional bonds. As the relationship develops and you share more about your past and your feelings, you grow trust and learn to rely on each other for moral support.

So, sharing personal information means he’s trying to build a relationship with you. According to Kendra Cherry, a psychologist with Verywell Mind, “As you get to know one another, you self-disclose more information, creating an even stronger bond.”[5]

So pay close attention to the details he shares with you. If they’re pretty personal, it’s a great sign that he likes you. 

8. Compliments and flirts

A well-placed compliment can brighten someone’s day and make them feel appreciated. It could be as simple as admiring their smile or praising their style. 

Flirting, on the other hand, is a more playful way to express interest. It often involves light-hearted teasing and shared laughter in perfect harmony as he makes you laugh and laughs at your jokes, too.

If he’s trying to make you laugh, he’s flirting, and if he’s flirting with you, he likes you!

Be careful not to let behavior like this slide past your Spidey Senses. Researchers Clark et al. report in Sexuality & Culture that women tend to “underperceive flirting.”[6]

Flirting will also come with body language cues, such as angling his body toward yours and standing quite close. Pay attention to the physical signals he’s giving off, as well as the verbal.

Compliments and flirting can build connections and pave the way for deeper conversations and relationships when done respectfully and genuinely.

9. Seeks physical proximity

Some men can be enigmatic, so it’s not always easy to know what men want. But it’s pretty easy to tell he wants to be near you because . . . there he is. 

Wanting to be physically close, such as sitting or standing near you, can reveal romantic interest, which is another sign that he wants you.

Take note if your blushing co-worker rushes across the conference room to score a seat next to you in the staff meeting. That dude likes you.

10. Displays jealousy or protectiveness

Pay attention to the little things — like how his eyes narrow ever so slightly or how his voice changes at the mention of your ex’s name.

According to Dr. Ronald Riggio of the Kravis Leadership Institute at Claremont McKenna College, these subtle cues can reveal volumes about what he truly feels.[7

Riggio says, “Look out for anger cues, like narrowed eyes or flushed face, and suppressed anger, such as lip-biting or deep breathing.”

Pay attention to nonverbal surveillance cues, such as increased attention and eye contact.

If a guy isn’t interested in you, it won’t matter to him if you mention your ex or plans that don’t include him. But when an admirer experiences jealousy, it triggers other emotions like anger, fear, or sadness. 

Those might not sound like positive signs to you. Still, in a 2013 article published by the Western Journal of Communication, authors Elphinston et al. claim occasional jealousy can be a positive sign.[8]

But beware: Jealousy and possessiveness can quickly become signs of a toxic person. Read more about dating violence in general to learn to recognize red flags.

11. Makes an effort with his appearance 

If a man wants to look good just for you, it’s an obvious sign that he is into you and wants to impress you. 

Clearly, he cares about how you perceive him. 

This is especially true if you’ve known this person for a long time, never really seen him dressed up, and then suddenly he’s making an effort with you. 

He wants to impress you because . . .

 . . . he likes you.

12. Shows vulnerability and seeks emotional connection 

According to author John Van Epp, who wrote the cheekily titled book How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk, “Communication is the key to opening doors of intimacy.”[9]

When someone shows they want to connect with you on a deeper level, they’re probably romantically interested in you. 

Such clues can include talking about their mistakes, their fears, and their flaws.

According to an article published by the Cyprus Turkish Journal of Psychiatry & Psychology, one study found that “self-disclosure is a tool for increasing verbal intimacy in relationships, which leads to satisfactory relationship experiences.” 

The study further demonstrates how vulnerability ultimately serves as a resource for building strong connections.[10] 

Opening up and being emotionally honest suggests a desire for a meaningful bond. If he starts seeing a deeper connection with you, he likes you, and he’s ready to level up your relationship.

Does He Like Me, or Is He Just Being Nice?

I don’t want to burst your bubble, but you might want to rule out that this man might just be a nice dude. 

I mean, it would be pretty embarrassing if you asked him out because he shared his mayonnaise with you in the staff lunchroom, and it turns out he just had extra mayo.

Signs a guy really likes you include frequent eye contact, smiling, initiating physical contact, teasing or playful banter, showing genuine interest in your life and activities, and finding excuses to spend time with you. These signs may vary depending on the individual and the context, but they can demonstrate someone’s romantic interest in you.

Now you just need to determine whether you like him as much as he likes you.

Conclusion

To be sure a guy really likes you, you’ve got to read the signs.

Eye contact, attention, and flirting are all signs that a man likes you. If he’s constantly texting you or wanting to hang out, sharing personal details, introducing you to his friends — girl, he’s got it bad. 

With this info in hand, you can conquer the wide world of dating with confidence. No more late nights analyzing cryptic texts and dancing around your feelings. 

He either likes you — or he doesn’t. But you’re fantastic, so he probably does.

Check out our page to read more about getting into a relationship.

FAQ

How does a guy act if he really likes you?

A guy who really likes you will act like you’re his favorite person. He’ll share personal details and open up to you, he’ll want to always be around you or talking to you, and he’ll go out of his way to do nice things for you. 

How to tell if a guy is falling for you?

You can tell if a guy is falling for you if he opens up to you, shares his emotions, and introduces you to his close friends and family.

Can you sense when a guy likes you?

You can usually sense when a guy likes you. Someone who likes you will pay attention to you, flirt with you, and try to connect with you on a deeper level.

References

1. Calderon, K. (2023, January 27). Physical signs that might mean someone’s into you. Health Digest. https://www.healthdigest.com/244415/physical-signs-that-might-mean-someones-into-you/

2. Kane, E. (2016, August 23). The psychology behind love and romance. South University. https://www.southuniversity.edu/news-and-blogs/2016/08/the-psychology-behind-love-and-romance-70700

3. Ohtsubo, Y., & Yamaguchi, C. (2017). People are more generous to a partner who pays attention to them. Evolutionary Psychology, 15(1). https://doi.org/10.1177/1474704916687310

4. Mantova, K. (2023). Exploring the connection between love languages and relationship satisfaction. Knowledge, 57(5), 687–692. https://ikm.mk/ojs/index.php/kij/article/download/6056/5909

5. Cherry, K. (2023, September 5). How self-disclosure impacts relationships. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/how-does-self-disclosure-influence-relationships-4122387

6. Clark, J., Oswald, F. & Pedersen, C. L. (2021). Flirting with gender: The complexity of gender in flirting behavior. Sexuality & Culture, 25, 1690–1706. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12119-021-09843-8

7. Riggio, R. (2021, January 2). Secret body language cues that your partner is jealous. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/202101/secret-body-language-cues-your-partner-is-jealous

8. Elphinston, R. A., Feeney, J. A., Noller, P., Connor, J. P., & Fitzgerald, J. (2013). Romantic jealousy and relationship satisfaction: The costs of rumination. Western Journal of Communication, 77(3), 293–304. https://doi.org/10.1080/10570314.2013.770161

9. Van Epp, J. (2008). How to avoid falling in love with a jerk: The foolproof way to follow your heart without losing your mind. McGraw Hill.

10. Karaköse, K., & Ulusoy, A. (2022). The key role of vulnerability in developing authentic connections in romantic relationships. Cyprus Turkish Journal of Psychiatry & Psychology, 4(1), 105. https://doi.org/10.35365/ctjpp.22.1.11

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