Starting a new relationship can be equal parts exciting and terrifying. You want to take things slow, but you don’t want to miss out on a potential love connection.
Our comprehensive dating advice for women will help you navigate a new relationship and build a strong foundation for something truly special.
Key Takeaways
- Take your time getting to know your partner. Rushing things can lead to misunderstandings and regret.
- Honest and open communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Don’t be afraid to share your thoughts and feelings.
- Set realistic expectations and be up front about your needs and desires. Ignoring red flags can lead to trouble down the line.
- Balancing your own life with your relationship is essential. Prioritize quality time together, but don’t forget to nurture your individuality.
1. Communicate Openly and Honestly
You can’t really have a healthy relationship without open and honest communication — friends with benefits, at best.
Table of Contents
From the very beginning, it’s essential to discuss your expectations, boundaries, and feelings with your partner. When you’re honest about what you want and need, you prevent misunderstandings that can lead to conflict down the road.
Research on marital infidelity shows that couples who communicate openly experience higher relationship satisfaction and lower rates of conflict, including infidelity.
Findings from Allen et al. “suggest that couples who go on to experience infidelity show more problematic communication premaritally, such as lower levels of positive interaction and higher levels of negative and invalidating interaction.”[1]
So, start your relationship by being honest with yourself. Take some time to reflect on what you want and need from a partner and in your life. Going in blind, not knowing what it is you’re looking for, is a one-way ticket to a failed relationship.
Then, share those expectations with your partner. Use “I” statements to express your feelings and avoid blaming or criticizing your partner. And most importantly, listen actively and empathetically to your partner’s perspective.
2. Take Things Slow and Enjoy the Process
In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to feel like you need to rush into a long-term relationship, especially with the apocalypse potentially just around the corner. But when it comes to starting a new romance, slow and steady wins the race.
In an article in Women’s Health, Dr. Terri Orbuch of Oakland University, says there are different definitions for different people. She adds, “For some, it could mean waiting to become a couple, while other people might think of it as waiting to have sex. And for others, it might mean waiting to become committed or emotionally vulnerable.”[2]
Taking your time allows the relationship to develop naturally, giving you both the opportunity to see if your values and lifestyles align. It helps you notice important details and potential red flags that you might otherwise overlook as you discover if you’ve met the right person.
At the start of a new relationship, talk to your partner about taking things slow. You may find he’s just as interested in testing the waters as you are.
3. Plan Engaging and Memorable Dates
Forget the same old dinner-and-a-movie routine. It’s time to get creative with your dates.
Thoughtful date planning shows you’re willing to put in effort and consideration for the other person. It demonstrates you value his time and want to create meaningful memories together. Plus, it lets him know life with you won’t be dull.
Start by thinking outside the box. Consider activities that allow for conversation and interaction. Try an escape room and see how well you work together under pressure. Hit up a cooking class and whip up something tasty. Or go all out with an adrenaline-pumping activity like rock climbing or ax-throwing.
Nothing says “I’m into you” like trusting someone with a sharp object, right? 🙃
The point is to not only create lasting memories but also lay the groundwork for a relationship built on mutual effort and appreciation. Because, at the end of the day, shared experiences create stronger bonds than shared Netflix accounts.
4. Be an Active Listener and Show Genuine Interest
Relationship advice always bangs on about “active listening,” but many people still don’t know what it means to listen actively.
Practice active listening by giving your full attention to your date. Put away distractions, maintain eye contact, and nod or respond appropriately to show you’re engaged. Ask open-ended questions that encourage him to share more about his life, thoughts, and experiences.
Active listening involves more than just hearing the words that your date is saying. It’s paying attention to his body language, tone of voice, and emotions. It means showing empathy and validation for his feelings, even if you don’t necessarily agree with his perspective.
So, put away your phone (yes, all the way away, not just face down), make eye contact, and show some genuine interest. Do the relationship work necessary to go from paying dutch to visiting Amsterdam for your 20th anniversary.
5. Navigate Physical Intimacy Carefully
When it comes to physical intimacy, respect and consent are nonnegotiable. A 2021 article in Sex Education discusses the importance of sexual consent, saying, “Any agreement to participate in a specific sexual activity should be verbal, voluntary, affirmative, and enthusiastic.”[3]
You need to have open and honest conversations about physical boundaries and expectations from the very beginning. This isn’t just about sex; it includes everything from holding hands to kissing.
Consent fosters mutual respect and helps establish healthy boundaries, ensuring both of you feel comfortable and valued. Remember, consent is not just a one-time thing. Consenting once does not grant your partner perpetual access to your body.
Sexual coercion and dating violence are serious issues that can eat away at trust and safety in a relationship. Be aware of these dangers and make sure to give clear, enthusiastic consent for any intimate activity — or firmly and clearly say no — especially at the start of a new relationship.
If something doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to say no or to change your mind. Your body is yours, and your comfort is important. A healthy and fulfilling physical connection is built on trust, respect, and mutual enjoyment.
This person knows what’s up:
6. Handle Rejection and Setbacks Gracefully
Rejection is a part of the dating game, and it stings. If you haven’t been rejected, you’re either Margot Robbie or you’re not putting yourself out there enough.
If you were hoping for something more serious with a deeper emotional connection and your new flame just wants someone to beach with, don’t sweat it.
Instead of dwelling on it, see it as a chance to learn and grow. Instead of ugly-crying into a pint of ice cream (okay, maybe do that too), explore what you can learn from it. Maybe you need to work on your communication skills.
Or maybe you dodged a bullet.
Surround yourself with supportive friends, treat yourself to something nice, and remember that there’s someone amazing out there waiting to meet you. Dating can be tough, but it’s also an adventure.
So, dust yourself off, put on your game face, and keep moving forward.
7. Be Mindful of Red Flags and Trust Your Instincts
In the whirlwind of new love, it’s easy to get swept away and find yourself trapped in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship. But it’s important to stay grounded and trust your instincts. Pay attention to red flags like controlling behavior, disrespect, inconsistency, or being one of those people who thinks the top sheet is superfluous.
These can be subtle at first, but they’re often warning signs of abuse.
Controlling behavior can manifest in many ways, such as trying to dictate what you wear, who you hang out with, or how you spend your time. Lack of respect can include belittling comments, disregard for your boundaries, or dismissive behavior.
Inconsistency can include flakiness, broken promises, or unpredictable behavior. Poor communication can manifest as stonewalling, gaslighting, or passive-aggressive behavior.
Other red flags to watch out for:
- lack of accountability
- history of unhealthy relationships
- disrespectful with waitstaff, friends, or family
- substance abuse
- lack of empathy
- unrealistic expectations
- unresolved trauma
- neglect of self-care
And it’s not just the red flags you need to watch out for. Be on the lookout for obvious green flags telling you you’ve found the right person — and the absence of them.
Research published in the Journal of Marriage and Family states that the absence of positive interactions and expressions, such as affection, interest, and humor, especially during everyday conversations, predicts later conflict.[4]
That’s why it’s important to listen to your gut instincts. If something feels wrong, it probably is.
Bring up your concerns with your partner in a respectful and non-accusatory way. If he responds defensively or dismisses your feelings, it’s a clear indication that this relationship might not be healthy.
8. Embrace Vulnerability and Emotional Intimacy
Being vulnerable means opening up and sharing your true self with your partner, including your fears, insecurities, and hopes for the future. Start by sharing small parts of yourself and gradually build up to more intimate conversations and emotional connection.
Intimacy is one of the most important values in a relationship. Being emotionally intimate can deepen the connection and foster a sense of trust and understanding, a sense of belonging. By sharing personal thoughts and feelings, fears and insecurities, you create a safe and supportive space for each other.
As you learn more about each other’s values, goals, and dreams, you’ll build a strong foundation of trust and respect.
9. Navigate the Challenges of Online Dating
Online dating is like a box of chocolates — you never know what you’re gonna get, but there’s a good chance it’ll leave you feeling slightly sick and questioning your life choices, yet somehow you’re still glad you indulged.
That’s why it’s important to approach it with intention and care.
When creating an online dating profile, be honest and authentic. Use recent photos that accurately represent you and avoid exaggerating or lying about your interests or background.
Be clear about what you’re looking for in a relationship and what your deal-breakers are. And most importantly, be yourself. Your profile should reflect your unique personality and interests.
When communicating, be responsive and respectful in your messages, and avoid sending generic or impersonal messages. Use open-ended questions to encourage conversation and show genuine interest in getting to know the other person.
When it comes to safety, it’s important to take steps to protect yourself. Avoid sharing personal information, such as your address or phone number, until you feel comfortable and safe. Meet in public places for the first few dates and let a friend or family member know where you’ll be.
Lastly, trust your instincts. If something feels off or unsafe, don’t ignore it.
10. Maintain Realistic Expectations
If you’re expecting your date to be a six-foot-tall, mind-reading, six-pack-sporting, emotionally available guy who loves your cat and your mom equally, I’ve got bad news for you: This high-value man of your wildest dreams probably doesn’t exist.
That’s why you need to approach dating with a balanced perspective — understand that no one is perfect and avoid putting undue pressure on yourself or your partner to meet an idealized standard.
This helps to create a more relaxed and authentic environment in which you’ll be able to genuinely connect.
Having realistic expectations doesn’t mean lowering your standards. It means giving that person who doesn’t tick all your boxes a chance. He might surprise you!
11. Don’t Compare It to a Previous Relationship
Comparing a new relationship to an old one is like wearing trippy sunglasses indoors; it distorts your perception of reality.
Every relationship is a unique tapestry, woven with its own threads of experiences, personalities, and circumstances. Just as no two snowflakes are identical, no two relationships will ever be the same.
When you compare your current partner to an ex, you inadvertently rob your new relationship of its individuality. You limit your ability to truly see and appreciate the person in front of you.
Moreover, comparing relationships can lead to unhealthy expectations. If you had a fantastic partner in the past, you might unconsciously set an impossibly high bar for your current partner. This can create unnecessary pressure and resentment.
On the other hand, if your past includes a toxic relationship, you might be overly cautious or defensive, projecting past hurts onto your new partner.
It’s important to learn from past experiences without letting them dictate your future. Focus on building a strong foundation with your new partner based on trust, communication, and mutual respect.
12. Establish Healthy Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are like guardrails for your relationship. They protect your individuality, prevent resentment, foster mutual respect, and keep your relationship from teetering over a cliff into toxic territory.
Every new relationship needs clear boundaries if it’s going to work. According to self-help authors Cloud and Townsend, “Boundaries protect love. They enhance freedom. They allow people to be separate and stay connected. They define responsibility so that people know what their tasks are.”[5]
Set firm relationship boundaries by openly discussing your limits and expectations with your partner. This includes emotional, physical, and time-related boundaries.
Here’s a list of clear-cut boundaries you might discuss:
- time management: setting aside specific time for yourself, your partner, and other commitments
- emotional boundaries: validation and respect for your feelings
- physical boundaries: establishing comfort levels for physical touch and intimacy
- financial boundaries: discussing expectations about shared expenses and financial goals
- social boundaries: balancing time spent with your partner and friends
- technology boundaries: setting limits on phone usage during quality time
- personal space: respecting each other’s property and need for alone time
- conflict resolution: establishing how disagreements will be handled
- expectations: clearly communicating expectations about the relationship’s pace and future
13. Make Time for Self-care and Personal Interests
You don’t have to be a relationship expert to know that maintaining your own identity and well-being will lead to a more successful relationship.
While a relationship brings joy and fulfillment, it’s not the sole source of happiness or identity. You also need to maintain your hobbies, friendships, and personal goals. This helps create a sense of independence and autonomy and avoids codependency.
When you nurture your own interests, you bring more to the relationship — a richer perspective, greater self-confidence, and emotional stability. This not only benefits you but also deepens the connection with your new partner.
In fact, research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology shows that couples who maintain individual friendships and interests — what Aron et al. call “self-expansion” — are happier and less likely to suffocate each other.[6]
14. Navigate Conflicts With Patience and Understanding
Disagreements are a normal part of any relationship, but how you handle them can make all the difference.
Patience and understanding are your best allies during arguments. Instead of reacting impulsively, take a deep breath and approach the situation calmly. You’ll prevent emotionally charged arguments by incorporating a few tactics:
- using “I” statements
- listening actively
- focusing on the issue, not the person
- finding common ground
- practicing empathy
- apologizing when wrong
- practicing forgiveness
- learning and growing
- taking a break if needed
15. Celebrate His Successes and Offer Support
Whether it’s a promotion at work, completing a personal goal, or even small victories, taking the time to acknowledge and celebrate your partner’s individual achievements can make him feel seen, appreciated, and loved.
This can be as simple as a heartfelt congratulation, a thoughtful gift, or a special dinner to mark the occasion.
Offering emotional support is equally important. Life is full of ups and downs, and having a partner who is there to offer comfort and understanding during challenging times can make all the difference.
This means being a good listener, providing a shoulder to lean on, and offering words of encouragement and reassurance. It’s about being present and available, even when things get tough.
16. Regularly Express Appreciation and Gratitude
Expressing gratitude is more than just saying “thank you.” It’s about recognizing the small and big things your partner does and letting him know how much you appreciate them.
A study published in Personal Relationship followed 67 cohabiting couples. Authors Algoe et al. report, “Gratitude from daily interactions predicted higher relationship connection and satisfaction for both partners. This suggests that expressing gratitude acts as a ‘booster shot’ for the relationship, enhancing feelings of closeness and mutual appreciation.”[7]
Here are some simple ways to show gratitude:
- Use verbal affirmations to regularly tell your partner what you appreciate about him. Compliment his strengths, acknowledge his efforts, and express your gratitude for his presence in your life.
- Leave love notes around the house, in his bag, or on his pillow. A few heartfelt words can brighten his day and remind him of your love.
- Plan small surprises to show your appreciation. This could be his favorite meal, a special outing, or a meaningful gift that shows you’ve been paying attention to his interests.
- Show your gratitude through acts of service. Help out with chores, run errands for him, or do something thoughtful that makes his life a little easier.
- Dedicate quality time to doing activities you both enjoy. Give him your undivided attention and make memories that you’ll both cherish.
- Show your affection through hugs, kisses, and other forms of physical affection. Nonverbal cues can be just as powerful as words.
- Publicly acknowledge your appreciation for your partner in front of others. Boasting about his positive qualities in public can make him feel proud and valued.
17. Seek Outside Support When Needed
As you explore this potential relationship, clue in someone from your friends and family, or even a marriage and family therapist. Just someone you’re comfortable talking to.
Reaching out to trusted friends and family, or even getting professional help, can ensure you’re on the right track. Sometimes, an outside perspective can shed light on issues you might not have noticed.
I’m not saying you need a relationship coach, just someone close to you who can prevent you from ignoring red flags and give insight into your past mistakes, helping you be the best version of a partner you can be.
It’s also nice to have someone to dish about your new boo to. Everyone has that one friend who thinks they give the best relationship advice — and maybe they do. If you’re lucky, they’ll even throw their pie for you. So reach out. Let your friends take the wheel sometimes.
Conclusion
By adapting these tips into your dating life, you’re setting yourself up for success. Remember, open communication, honesty, and mutual respect are the cornerstones of a strong and lasting connection.
Take your time, be yourself, and enjoy the journey. Every relationship is unique, so embrace the ups and downs as opportunities for growth.
Getting in a relationship and looking for some tips and advice? Check out the link!
FAQ: Your New Relationship Questions Answered
How do good relationships start?
Good relationships start with being kind and honest, and actively listening. It’s important to treat each other with respect and tell the truth. Also, take things slow to just enjoy spending time together.
How do you know that you are ready for a new relationship?
You know you are ready for a new relationship when you’re happy and confident in yourself and have learned from past relationship challenges. You should feel excited to meet new people and be open to sharing your life with someone.
Can you fix a broken relationship?
Sometimes you can fix a broken relationship, but it takes hard work from both people. Talking to each other honestly is important. If it’s too hard or there is hurt or harm involved, it’s okay to say good-bye. Try these dating tips, but if things aren’t working, there’s no harm in moving on.
References
1. Allen, E. S., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., Markman, H. J., Williams, T., Melton, J., & Clements, M. L. (2008). Premarital precursors of marital infidelity. Family Process, 47(2), 243–259. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1545-5300.2008.00251.x
2. Geller, L. (2019, January 29). The right way to take things slow in a new relationship. Women’s Health. https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/a26038648/take-it-slow-dating/
3. Burton, O., Rawstorne, P., Watchirs-Smith, L., Nathan, S., & Carter, A. (2023). Teaching sexual consent to young people in education settings: A narrative systematic review. Sex Education, 23(1), 18–34. https://doi.org/10.1080/14681811.2021.2018676
4. Gottman, J. M., & Levenson, R. W. (2000). The timing of divorce: Predicting when a couple will divorce over a 14‐year period. Journal of Marriage and family, 62(3), 737–745. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2000.00737.x
5. Cloud, H., & Townsend, J. (2009). Boundaries in marriage: Understanding the choices that make or break loving relationships. Zondervan.
6. Aron, A., Norman, C. C., Aron, E. N., McKenna, C., & Heyman, R. E. (2000). Couples’ shared participation in novel and arousing activities and experienced relationship quality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(2), 273. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.78.2.273
7. Algoe, S. B., Gable, S. L., & Maisel, N. C. (2010). It’s the little things: Everyday gratitude as a booster shot for romantic relationships. Personal Relationships, 17(2), 217–233. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2010.01273.x