The Cycle of Violence
In most abusive relationships violence is not a one time incident. The abuse
usually happens again and again. While not all victims experience the same thing,
many find that the abuse occurs in a repeating cycle with three phases: tension
building, explosion, and honeymoon stages. Each phase can be as short as a few
seconds or as long as several years.
Things start to get tense between you and the person you’re with. The
warning signs of abuse start to appear. Often:
- You argue a lot.
- The person you are with yells at you for no reason.
- He or she makes false accusations against you.
- You feel like you can’t do anything right.
- You feel tension, like things could blow up at any moment.
The abuser will try to get you to stay by apologizing, trying
All of the tension that has been built up is released in an outburst
The abuser often:
The abuser may:
If your relationship looks like this, you may see the tension start to build
again after the honeymoon stage, eventually leading to another explosion. Over
time, the honeymoon stage can get shorter and gradually disappear, and the explosions
can become more violent and dangerous.