Ending a Relationship

Journaling for Healing: Rediscovering and Empowering Your Inner Self

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Table of Contents

By putting words on paper (or screen), journaling helps you reclaim your voice.

Whether you’ve just had a breakup or you’re still in the thick of it, try journaling for healing from a relationship and get a fresh, freeing perspective.

Table of Contents


What Is Journaling?

Journaling is an act of self-reclamation — a practice of reconnecting with the parts of you that may have been quieted, reshaped, or overlooked in the course of a relationship. Each entry becomes a space for honesty and self-expression, a moment where your voice can exist unfiltered and unapologetic.

Journaling is more than words on a page; it’s a rediscovery of who you are beneath the layers of experience and emotion. It’s a medium for exploring thoughts and acknowledging the truth of your own story. With every entry, you create a space solely for yourself, a place where all facets of who you are can emerge freely.


Benefits of Journaling: Healing From Relationships

Relationships are hard, and navigating the intricacies of difficulties with someone you love can be totally gutting. When you are left with little places to turn, journaling can serve as a safe space from the emotional whiplash that comes along with the many emotions of a tough relationship. 

Journaling helps you see things clearly, reconnect with who you are, and reclaim your voice before, during, or after a relationship — trust me, it works. 

In fact, a recent study conducted for the Annals of Behavioral Medicine uncovered that “journalers focusing on cognitions and emotions developed greater awareness of the positive benefits of the stressful event,” so you may even begin to see some silver linings, too![1]

Here’s some other top reasons why journaling helps you heal and cope:

Clarifies your story 

Relationships can make you feel like a side character in your own life. Journaling hands you back the script, letting you reclaim the lead role and rewrite your story on your terms.

This is especially helpful in toxic relationships, in which manipulation and gaslighting are huge risks. Jotting down your version of conversations or events gives you a frame of reference to turn to when someone is trying to make you question your reality. 

Releases big emotions 

Ever feel like your emotions are cranking up the drama? Writing them down takes the edge off. Try this: three pages of stream-of-consciousness each morning — no edits, no rereads, just a total brain dump. Then toss it and start fresh.

Emotions are meant to be felt, but it’s not always convenient to express them. Maybe it’s the wrong time or place, or maybe your companion doesn’t appreciate your emotional expression. Journaling gives you permission to feel your emotions. 

Creates a safe space 

Think of your journal as that bestie who lets you spill the tea, no judgment. It’s your personal space to say it all, giving you the freedom to feel, process, and heal in your own way.


How to Use a Journal for Healing

When you’ve decided to take the plunge and dive headfirst into emotional journaling, it might appear overwhelming at first. You’ll soon find, though, that journaling gives you space to release what’s on your mind, without any rules or pressure.

Here are some easy ways to turn those thoughts into your ultimate healing process:

Set the scene

Find a cozy spot — whether it’s your favorite chair, a candlelit corner, or a park bench that makes you feel like a main character. Creating an intentional space isn’t just about comfort; it signals to your mind and heart that this time is truly yours. 

When you set the scene, you’re making a commitment to slow down, be present, and allow yourself the freedom to reflect and reconnect with your inner self. This “me time” becomes a small ritual of self-care, grounding you as you embark on your journey of self-discovery.

Let it all out 

No filters, no edits. Allow your thoughts to spill onto the page like a streaming binge. Here, there’s no need for perfection or polish — no one’s here to judge. This is your space, your story, so go wild. Embrace the freedom to write without restraint, letting each word reflect the truest version of yourself.

Time it right 

Give yourself a solid 10 or 20 minutes. This way, you’re free to dive in, knowing you can always come back for more when you’re ready. Each session becomes a small yet meaningful ritual, a chance to reconnect without feeling pressured to say it all at once.

Start with gratitude 

Open each entry by jotting down three things you’re grateful for, big or small. This simple practice acts as a gentle reminder that, even on the toughest days, there’s something worth holding onto. 

It shifts your perspective, grounding you in positivity before diving deeper into your thoughts, and helps you recognize the little moments that bring light to your journey.

Try a brain dump 

Have too many thoughts swirling around? Try a quick five-minute brain dump — just scribble down everything that’s on your mind, no structure needed. This simple exercise clears mental clutter, giving you a sense of relief and a lighter headspace to focus on what matters most.

Use prompts for inspiration 

Not sure where to start? Think of prompts as training wheels for journaling. Choose one that resonates, and let it guide you onto the page. It’s a gentle nudge to get thoughts flowing, helping you discover what’s waiting to be expressed.

Embrace the chaos 

Messy handwriting, crossed-out words — let it all unfold naturally. Perfection isn’t the goal; expression is. Embrace the rawness, knowing that each line captures your truth, just as it is.

Add some color 

Use different pens, highlighters, or even add doodles to bring your journal to life. These little touches make your emotions feel more dynamic and tangible, adding layers that reflect the depth of your experience. Let the colors and sketches capture the nuances words can’t always express.

Make it a routine 

Choose a regular time that fits seamlessly into your day, whether it’s with your morning coffee or right before bed. Just like a skincare routine, the consistency makes it feel natural and part of your rhythm. Over time, this simple habit becomes a comforting ritual, grounding you as you reconnect with yourself.

Reflect on your progress

Every so often, take a moment to flip through your entries. Notice the changes, the little shifts, and the growth — it’s a powerful reminder of how far you’ve come. Each page holds pieces of your journey, showing you the resilience and evolution within.

Don’t reread right away 

For those raw, unfiltered entries, resist the urge to read them right away. Let them breathe, giving yourself the distance to process. When you’re ready to revisit, you’ll see them with fresh eyes and a clearer perspective, allowing for deeper reflection and understanding.


Journal Prompts for Healing From a Relationship

Moving on after a difficult relationship can be tough, and it’s common to feel like parts of yourself got lost along the way. Journaling can be a lifeline, a way to reconnect with who you are outside of the “we” and get back to “me.” 

Think of it as a process to unpack everything you’ve been carrying around, a place where you can write about your big feelings without fear of judgment. This is your space to figure out what matters to you — to understand what you really want and start seeing yourself from a new perspective.

To get started, here are some prompts that will guide you through reflecting, processing, and rediscovering who you are. Take it at your own pace, and let the words flow.

  • Who am I when I’m not defined by this relationship?

Explore what made you you before the relationship.

  • What parts of myself have I neglected?

Think about the passions, interests, or parts of your personality that may have taken a backseat.

  • What do I want to say to my past self?

Write a letter to yourself from today’s perspective. What would you tell the version of you from before or during the relationship?

  • How has this relationship shaped me, for better or worse?

Acknowledge any positives and any pain. Both can be part of your growth.

  • What are three things I miss about being single?

Dive into what you enjoy about focusing on yourself and your own needs.

  • What boundaries do I need to feel safe in future relationships?

Maybe there were warning signs you missed along the way. Consider what boundaries will help you feel respected, secure, and true to yourself.

  • What does “self-love” look like for me right now?

Describe actions, habits, or affirmations that make you feel cared for by you.

  • What do I forgive myself for?

Reflect on any guilt or regret and give yourself permission to let it go.

  • How can I fill my life with joy and peace?

Identify what brings you genuine happiness and inner calm, and brainstorm ways to bring more of it into your life.

  • What are my dreams and goals now?

Without compromise, list what you want in life, love, and career. This is your chance to dream big.


Self-Care Journal Prompts

Self-care is more than bubble baths and spa days (though those can be amazing too). True self-care dives deeper, touching on the parts of you that need love, attention, and maybe a little TLC after a tough relationship. It’s about reconnecting with your needs, finding joy in small moments, and creating a relationship with yourself that feels grounding and affirming.

Journaling can really work to accomplish this goal, too. Expert therapist Susan Borkin wrote in her book The Healing Power of Writing that by its nature “journaling is an intimate form of writing, one that is able to touch deeply into places that are difficult to speak about.”[2

These prompts are here to help you explore what caring for yourself really means and how to make self-love a natural part of your everyday life.

  • What does “me time” look like for me right now?

Picture your ideal self-care routine — whether it’s as simple as a quiet coffee or as adventurous as a day trip. Writing it down will help you visualize it, and visualizing it will help you strive for it.

  • How can I show love to myself today?

Think of one thing you can do for yourself today that feels genuinely caring.

  • What makes me feel most alive?

Spending some time to write and reflect on the moments that make you feel energized, joyful, and fully present will help you reprioritize what you are doing day to day.

  • How do I want to feel at the end of each day?

Describe the emotions you’d like to experience as you wind down each evening. Writing down your goals and hopes makes them real. See what your words can manifest.

  • What does it mean to truly “be there” for myself?

Taking time to write about this topic may be difficult. We often don’t give ourselves the same nurturing care as we do to those we are close with. Consider how you can support yourself as you would a close friend.

  • What do I need to release to feel more at peace?

Inhale, exhale, and write down all of those things that are getting in the way of your next steps. These can be habits, stressors, or really anything you feel poised to let go of.

  • What does comfort look like to me?

Take a moment to explore what brings you warmth and a sense of security. It could be a cozy blanket, a favorite scent, or the comfort of a familiar routine. These items, places, and even people can give you a safe space to retreat to when life gets hard — and what better way than having a list?

  • What are three things I can do for myself this week?

Plan small acts of self-care that you can look forward to. It might be as simple as enjoying a hot cup of tea, taking a brisk walk outside, indulging in a favorite book, or setting aside time for a relaxing bath. These small rituals give you moments to recharge and bring comfort to your day, adding a gentle boost to your routine.

  • When was the last time I felt truly content?

Think back to a moment of pure contentment and what contributed to it. Write it down.

  • How can I add a little joy to my everyday routine?

Consider ways to bring small, joyful touches into your daily life, like music, a favorite drink, or five minutes in nature.


Journaling Exercises

When you’re journaling to heal, a few structured exercises can help you process emotions without feeling overwhelmed. These exercises are a gentle way to create balance, offering a mix of guided reflection and open expression. Think of them as small rituals to connect with yourself and make sense of what you’re going through.

  • Gratitude check: List three things you’re grateful for today, even if they’re tiny moments. This exercise helps ground you, reminding you that even in tough times, there are things to appreciate.
  • Emotion mapping: Jot down how you’re feeling in the moment. Get specific — write, draw, or list what’s on your mind. Identifying emotions as they come up can make them feel more manageable.
  • Relationship lessons: Maybe there were warning signs you missed along the way. Reflect on what this relationship has taught you about yourself, your values, and your boundaries. Be honest; it’s all part of your growth.
  • Heart check-in: Take a minute to tune into what your heart feels today. Do you feel heavy, relieved, hopeful? Acknowledge it without judgment and note it down.
  • Energy audit: Write about what energizes and drains you right now. This can help you understand which relationships and activities are lifting you up or bringing you down.
  • Future-self letter: Imagine a healed version of yourself a few months from now. Write a letter from them, offering encouragement and perspective.
  • Release and rewrite: Write down something about the relationship you need to let go of, then flip the page and rewrite it as a lesson learned or a strength gained.
  • Feelings vs. facts: Separate what you’re feeling from the actual facts of the relationship. Sometimes emotions cloud our understanding, so this exercise can help bring clarity.
  • Boundary check: Reflect on what boundaries you’d like to set in future relationships. Visualize how those boundaries will help you feel safe and respected.
  • Daily self-compassion: End each entry with a note of compassion toward yourself — whether it’s a reminder to take things slowly, or an affirmation that healing is a process.

Things to Write in a Journal

Whether you’re writing about your day or exploring your thoughts, journaling is a way to capture moments and learn about yourself. 

In his book, Healing Through Writing: A Journaling Guide to Emotional and Spiritual Growth, author Anthony Parnell speaks about journaling as “a means by which I can process my thoughts and emotions irrespective of the support or insight of others.”[3]

So, think of your journal as your sounding board, ready to soak in all you’ve got to unload.

  • Reflections on a good day: Think about a recent day that made you feel good. What was it about that day that felt right? Capture those small details — they’re clues to what brings you joy.
  • Weekly goals: Write down a few intentions for the week ahead, no matter how small. Maybe it’s practicing more self-kindness or spending time doing what you love.
  • Small wins: List one thing you accomplished today, even if it’s as simple as getting out of bed on a tough day. These moments add up and remind you of your progress.
  • Mood changes: At the end of each day, jot down how you felt. Noticing patterns over time can help you understand what influences your emotions.
  • Happy memories: Write about a favorite memory that has nothing to do with any relationship. Reliving good times that are purely yours can remind you of who you are.
  • Something new you learned: Whether it’s about yourself, a hobby, or life in general, recording new insights helps you recognize your growth.
  • Moments of gratitude: List one thing you’re grateful for from the day. It’s a reminder that each day has something worth appreciating.
  • A moment of peace: Write about a moment, however brief, when you felt calm. Look for ways to create more of these moments.
  • Intention for tomorrow: Close each entry with something you’d like to focus on tomorrow. It might be as simple as taking a deep breath or doing something kind for yourself.
  • Personal strengths: After a tough day, list one strength you showed, like patience, resilience, or kindness. This is a gentle reminder of your capacity to handle whatever comes.

Journaling for Trauma Healing

Healing from deep emotional wounds — especially those from an emotionally abusive relationship — isn’t a linear journey. When you’re carrying the weight of unresolved trauma, it can feel overwhelming, like there’s no place for all the tangled emotions to go. 

This is where journaling comes in, offering a private and judgment-free space to process what may be too difficult to speak out loud.

Experts explain that journaling can help us make sense of experiences that once felt completely out of our control. Writing gives us the chance to release emotions that might otherwise stay bottled up, leading to stress and anxiety. 

Trauma specialist Dr. Miriam Greenspan explains, “It’s the process of externalizing big emotions that can bring perspective and relief. When you put your feelings into words, it shifts them from something undefined and chaotic into something you can start to understand and manage.”[4]

Through journaling, you take what was once internal — feelings of confusion, sadness, anger — and bring them outside of yourself, making them something you can look at with a bit of distance. 

This act of “externalizing” emotions helps clarify what may have felt impossible to sort through before. And when you see these emotions on the page, it’s as though you’ve transferred some of the weight onto the paper, creating space for healing within yourself.

But it’s not just about venting. Journaling for trauma is also about reframing. Reframing is the process of shifting your perspective on an experience, allowing you to see it in a new light.

When you reframe through journaling, you’re actively choosing to reinterpret past events, often focusing on what you’ve learned or how you’ve grown. It’s a way of transforming painful memories into sources of resilience and insight, helping you move forward with a renewed sense of empowerment.

As you write, you might begin to see patterns in your relationships, understand choices you made, and uncover moments where you stood strong, even if it didn’t feel like it at the time. With each entry, you’re rewriting your narrative, reminding yourself of your resilience and reclaiming your power.


Conclusion

Journaling for healing isn’t a one-stop-shop for recovering from a complicated relationship, getting over a breakup, or rebuilding yourself after years of abuse. But combined with time, therapy, and a supportive network, it will help you move on.

If you’re ready, consider journaling as a companion in your healing journey. Use it to honor your feelings, find clarity in the chaos, and, ultimately, to rediscover peace. For more advice and information about ending a relationship, follow the link.


FAQs

What do you write in a healing journal?

In a healing journal, you can write anything that helps you process emotions and gain clarity. This might include reflections on your day, descriptions of difficult feelings, things you’re grateful for, or even messages of forgiveness to yourself. The key is to use your journal as a safe place to express yourself without judgment.

Does journaling help you heal?

Yes, journaling can help you heal. It’s been shown to help with emotional healing by allowing you to process complex feelings, reduce stress, and gain perspective on your experiences. Writing about what you’re going through can bring structure to overwhelming emotions, helping you to better understand and manage them.

How do I start journaling for self-healing?

To start journaling for self-healing, pick a quiet space and begin by writing whatever comes to mind. Set a small goal, like 10 minutes or one page, and let your thoughts flow freely. Starting with a prompt, such as “What do I need to let go of?” or “How am I feeling today?” can help if you’re unsure where to begin.

Can journaling be a form of therapy?

While journaling is not a substitute for professional therapy, it can be a therapeutic tool. Journaling allows you to express emotions, reflect on challenges, and gain insights that can support your mental well-being. Many therapists recommend journaling as a way to enhance self-awareness and encourage personal growth between sessions.

How do you start a recovery journal?

Starting a recovery journal is about creating a space to track your progress and reflect on your healing journey. Begin by setting an intention, such as focusing on positive changes or recording small victories. Writing about your challenges, the coping skills you’re practicing, and moments of gratitude can be helpful as you work through recovery.


References

1. Ullrich, P. M., & Lutgendorf, S. K. (2002). Journaling about stressful events: Effects of cognitive processing and emotional expression. Annals of Behavioral Medicine, 24(3), 244–50.
https://doi.org/10.1207/S15324796ABM2403_10

2. Borkin, S. (2014). The healing power of writing: A therapist’s guide to using journaling with clients. W.W. Norton & Company.

3. Parnell, A. (2005). Healing through writing: A journaling guide to emotional and spiritual growth. iUniverse.

4. Greenspan, M. (2003). Healing through the dark emotions: The wisdom of grief, fear, and despair. Shambhala Publications.


Author

  • Hannah is a mid-30s badass boss babe, a former teacher turned marketing and content manager. A world traveler and yogi, she’s also a proud dog mom to Gatsby. When not crafting strategies, she enjoys soaking up the sun in Greece with family or getting lost in a great book. While life has certainly thrown its fair share of lemons, Hannah seamlessly blends them into a frozen cocktail, mixing her love for adventure with relatable stories, sarcasm, and a whole lot of laughs.

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