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What should I do if I am leaving the relationship and/or the relationship is over?

If you decide to leave the relationship, there are many things you can do to keep yourself safer. Look at all the safety planning suggestions for people staying in the relationship - they are good things to do if you are leaving, too. In addition, there are some other things you can do to keep yourself safe. You may want to consider doing the following:

• Go to court to get a restraining order. Once you have it, give copies of the restraining order to the police, your school, work or any other place where you spend time. Keep a copy of the restraining order with you at all times and know where to get copies of the restraining order in case the original is destroyed.

• Tell close family and friends that you are no longer in the relationship. Ask them to keep an eye out for the abuser and get help if they ever think you may be in danger. 

• Change your school schedule so that you and the abuser no longer have classes together and so that you arrive at and/or leave school at different times.

• Change your work schedule so that you and the abuser are not scheduled to work at the same time or in the same location.

• If there are children involved, tell their school or day care the names of the people who have permission to pick up the children. Also, teach the children who to call and how to call for help if they are taken or are in danger.

• Screen calls and/or change your phone number to an unlisted number.

• Avoid going to stores, clubs and other locations where the abuser might look for you.

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