Looking for signs a man is in love with you can sometimes feel like trying to decode an artificial intelligence algorithm. In other words, things can get complicated fast. Luckily, his feelings for you are more straightforward than advanced robotics.
9 Signs a Man Is Falling in Love
What you see is what you get with these nine signs a man is in love.
1. He makes you a priority
The most glaringly obvious sign that a man is falling in love is that he prioritizes your relationship and quality time with you. Period. If he doesn’t go out of his way to make time for you (or always tries to get you to fit into his schedule without any compromise), he’s not into you.
That’s a relationship you don’t want to set sail on anyway.
And it’s important to understand because feelings and fluffy promises can blind you to what’s really going on. But if you look at his actions, one of the biggest signs a man loves you deeply is that you have a starring role in his life.
2. He stands up for you
Whether it’s a backhanded comment from a relative or an unwanted advance from a stranger, a man who loves you will step in when you need him most.
Men are perceived as being hard-wired to protect those they love and care about.
As a result of this purported vigilance, his natural instincts will kick in the moment he sees his queen being treated poorly. So, if you want to know one of the primary actions of a man falling in love, look for his puffed-out chest and furrowed brow when someone crosses your boundary.
Defending your honor is one of the major signs a man is deeply in love.
3. He’s emotionally available
While it may be hard for him initially, a man in love with you will show you his softer side. He’ll let you see parts of him that he hides from the world. This vulnerability comes when he feels strongly about your relationship.
According to an article published by the Cyprus Turkish Journal of Psychiatry & Psychology, vulnerability is a foundational aspect of fulfilling relationships.[1] As a result, an emotionally available man is one who loves you enough to be real about his feelings and emotions.
Here are a few signs of vulnerability a man may display when he starts falling for you:
- communicating with you more frequently
- sharing personal secrets
- opening up about his dreams and ambitions
- seeking your advice and counsel
- being honest about his feelings and insecurities
- apologizing when he’s in the wrong
If you catch these displays of vulnerability in your man’s behavior, it means he has a high level of trust in you. But more than that, he may be starting to fall for you and see more potential in your relationship.
Any man can sit with you and be physically present, but it takes a man who genuinely cares to engage that emotional side of himself and bring that to the surface for you.
4. He tries to resolve conflicts
A man who loves you won’t allow the two of you to go to bed angry with each other. Even if it takes all night, he’ll dig until he gets to the bottom of what’s upsetting you. There is a caveat to this, though.
You have to actually tell him you’re upset.
We love our guys, but let’s face it, they aren’t exactly Sherlock Holmes when it comes to picking up on clues and hints.
In fact, a study conducted by Agneta H. Fischer at the University of Amsterdam revealed that men have more difficulty understanding relational nuances. Fischer explains that “women are more sensitive to emotional refinements” than men, “but only when the cues are subtle or low intense.”[2]
So, if he’s done something to upset you, don’t hesitate to verbalize it. Like a lantern fish trying to find its way in the light, men can’t detect subtlety.
It can be tempting to assume that he “knows what he did” or that he’ll “figure it out.” Sorry bestie; he probably doesn’t, and he probably won’t.
If he loves you, all you have to do is communicate your frustration to him, and he’ll sit with you to untangle those emotional knots.
5. He’ll talk about the future
Although you may see instances where he tries to play it cool, a guy who’s into you won’t be able to help himself. He’s down to define the relationship. He’ll talk about the future by bringing up date ideas or mentioning outings that would take place months down the line. He may even ask where you see yourself in the future.
This is him trying to determine if you see a future with him in it. He’s testing the waters to see how you feel about him and the relationship. So, be on the lookout for any indicators of “future talk.”
A guy who isn’t excited about being with you will never bring up the topic of exclusivity or a trip to Iceland. However, if he begins dropping ideas or even suggestions about future plans or trips, that’s a clear indication that his attraction and love for you are growing.
6. He responds to your messages
A lack of communication sucks, and it can make you feel unappreciated. A guy who loves you, though, is not going to leave you hanging. Granted, he may get busy sometimes, so it’s important to be patient and not jump to conclusions.
But he’ll never intentionally leave you on read.
If he can’t reply within a reasonable time, he’ll be apologetic about it when he does have the time to get back to you.
And ultimately, this comes down to a healthy level of respect. A man who loves you will not string you along with silly games or manipulation.
7. He finds you fascinating
Another one of the signs he’s falling for you is that he moves beyond the surface-level interactions. He wants to truly know you for who you are, your hopes, your dreams, and what makes you tick.
This usually takes the form of more intimate and probing questions. It’s not to “interrogate” you, but rather, he wants to learn all about you.
According to the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, being naturally curious about a partner is “the genesis of intimacy.”[3] And building intimacy is essential to a loving relationship.
So, if he barrages you with questions, it’s a giant flashing green flag and a sign that he has fallen madly in love.
8. He wants to make you happy
He cracks jokes to lighten your mood, listens to make sure you feel heard, praises you to show his affection, all the best stuff — these are the actions of a man in love.
Your happiness becomes his joy. The happier you are in the relationship, the more he feels he’s doing a good job as your man.
Here are a few things a man who loves you may do to make you happy:
- Plan surprise dates: Whether it’s a stargazing picnic or a themed movie night, a man who cares will take the initiative to plan surprise dates to make you feel special.
- Cook your favorite meal: Yes, he may mess up the ingredients or butcher the presentation of the dish, but it’s the thought that counts, right?
- Be open and honest: He’ll practice open and honest communication with you. Even if it’s uncomfortable, he tells the truth to preserve your trust and keep your relationship healthy.
- Communicate how he feels: Many men struggle with communicating their feelings. So, you may have to help him out here. Make him feel like he’s in a safe place where he won’t be judged for his emotions, and he’ll open up to you a lot more freely.
- Adjust to your love language: Whether it’s physical touch, gifts, or acts of service, making you happy sometimes means learning to love you the way you want to be loved.
In the end, all he really wants is to be the Jay-Z to your Beyonce. And he’ll do whatever he can to earn that status marker in your life.
9. He wants everyone to know about you
A man who loves you will want everyone to know about it. He’ll want to introduce you to his family, brag about you to his friends, and talk you up to his colleagues.
According to a study published in Evolutionary Psychological Science, “Romantic partners function as hard-to-fake signals of status, and men are concerned about signaling their status to both other men and to other women.”[4]
So, if he makes an effort to introduce you to his inner circle, congratulations Hot Stuff, he thinks you’re fantastic.
This doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to “show you off” like a new Rolex or Armani suit. Yes, there may be some vanity attached to it, but the underlying principle is that he takes pride in you.
And honestly, can you really blame him for wanting to show off his fine taste in women?
3 Signs He’s Falling for You
Contrary to the “love-at-first-sight” paradigm perpetuated by romantic comedies, most true love takes time. A man needs to understand who you are as a person before he feels comfortable uttering those three magic words.
If it’s in the early days, and you feel like he hasn’t fallen for you yet, here are some subtle signs that he’s beginning to.
He starts giving you more attention
It doesn’t matter if it’s a faster response time for his text messages or more gift-giving; a dude who’s falling for you will up the ante.
He’ll give you more attention and also seek more of yours. He’ll make time for you (even if he’s busy), call and text more often, and find reasons to reach out.
He starts remembering things about you
Granted, he may not remember all the details you share, but let’s give the guy some credit.
Remembering even simple things such as your first-date anniversary or the details of a project you’ve been assigned at work means he’s been paying attention.
And if you have attention, you also have his interest.
He starts teasing you playfully
Forget the idea that playfulness is reserved only for school children. Adult love is supposed to be playful and fun. Who wants to grow old and gray with a partner who doesn’t know how to have a good time? Boooring.
According to an article in Social and Personality Compass, there’s actually a connection between a couple’s playfulness with one another and the quality of their relationship. Authors Brauer et al. argue that playfulness is “a resource that contributes to solving tension, enhancing communication, and strengthening positive experiences within couples.”[5]
They further explain that “being playful elicits positive emotions, which helps people to build and strengthen social bonds.”
So, not only is a knack for playfulness a good quality to find in a man, but it’s also one of the clear signs he’s falling for you.
Signs He Doesn’t Have Feelings for You
While it’s important to maintain a positive perspective when you experience feelings of doubt in your relationship, it’s also important to be realistic.
And the truth is that sometimes relationships run their course, and the spark simply fizzles out. When this happens, you may, naturally, move into denial. However, if you bottom-line his actions, you can usually make a pretty accurate case for how he feels about you.
Here are a few signs that he may not be interested (or may be losing interest).
He’s closed off emotionally
This is a glaring red flag. An emotionally closed-off man is falling out of love — or, more likely, was never in love in the first place.
He may not have the spirit to say it verbally, but emotionally, he can’t help but communicate his feelings. And picking up on the subtle cues is important in these instances.
By recognizing the patterns early, you can make a clean break and save yourself a lot of unnecessary pain.
I know that may not be what you want to hear.
However, it’s better to cut your losses early on rather than hold on to false hope and wish for things to improve. You can waste a lot of time in that kind of situation.
He uses negative body language
Mental and emotional health expert Jon Deloney says, “Behavior is a language.”[6] Arms crossed over his chest, lack of eye contact, and his body facing away from you are all negative body language signs that communicate he’s just not feeling it.
As gut-wrenching as this can feel, it’s clear communication that his feelings are shallow.
If you’ve tried communicating with him and he hasn’t opened up or changed his behavior, giving him some space is a good idea. Sometimes, time apart can be the perfect tool for reattracting him when he’s gone cold.
But if things still don’t improve, you have to pull the plug on the relationship.
He never initiates contact
Going from a flurry of text messages to crickets is not a good sign.
If you find that his contact initiation has taken a nose dive, that’s a clear indication that so has his love. Contact initiation is more than an act; it’s a signal of interest.
And when it begins to taper, a red warning alarm should be going off in your head. It doesn’t mean you should throw out his belongings or unfollow him on social media.
But it is an indicator that you should be more observant of his behavior, and, if it continues, communicate your concerns with him.
Conclusion
The bottom line is that love is a behavior as much as it is a feeling.
Being mindful of the signs a man is in love will allow you to see where you stand, giving you more peace of mind.
Looking for advice on being in a relationship? We have a whole page for that — check out the link.
FAQs
Does he really love me or is he playing me?
To know if he really loves you or is just playing you, pay attention to his actions more than his words. A man who loves you won’t try to play with your emotions. He’ll make you a priority and build intimacy and a future with you.
How to know if a guy is serious about you?
To know if a guy is serious about you, focus on one thing: his behavior. Regardless of how sweet and loving his words sound, they mean nothing if his actions don’t match them. A guy who’s serious will introduce you to his family, make time for you in his busy schedule, and listen to you attentively.
How does a man act when he is secretly in love?
When a man is secretly in love, he may show signs of nervousness and distraction. Clear signs that a man is in love include prioritizing time with his partner, talking about a future with them, and making romantic gestures.
References
1. İçinde, R. Geliştirmede, Ö. Rolü, K. (2021, November 17). The Key Role of Vulnerability in Developing Authentic Connections in Romantic Relationships: Cyprus Turkish Journal of Psychiatry & Psychology.
https://dergipark.org.tr/en/download/article-file/2009749
2. Fischer, A. H., Kret, M. E., & Broekens, J. (2018). Gender differences in emotion perception and self-reported emotional intelligence: A test of the emotion sensitivity hypothesis. PLOS ONE, 13(1), e0190712.
https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0190712
3. Kashdan, T., & Roberts, J. (2004). Trait and state curiosity in the genesis of intimacy: Differentiation from related constructs. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 23(6).
https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.23.6.792.54800
4. Winegard, B., Winegard, B., Reynolds, T., Geary, D. C., & Baumeister, R. F. (2017). One’s better half: Romantic partners function as social signals. Evolutionary Psychological Science, 3, 294–305.
https://repository.lib.fsu.edu/islandora/object/fsu:253065/datastream/PDF/view
5. Brauer, K., Proyer, R. T., & Chick, G. (2021). Adult playfulness: An update on an understudied individual differences variable and its role in romantic life. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 15(4), e12589.
https://doi.org/10.1111/spc3.12589
6. Deloney, J. [@johndeloney]. (2023, December 5). Behavior is a language. What are they trying to tell you? Delony [Tweet]. X.
https://x.com/johndelony/status/1732161993283366975
