Learn About Dating Violence

What is Dating Violence?

Dating violence is a pattern of abusive behaviors -- usually a series of abusive behaviors over a course of time -- used to exert power and control over a dating partner.

Every relationship is different, but the things that unhealthy and abusive relationships have in common are issues of power and control. Violent words and actions are tools an abusive partner uses to gain and maintain power and control over their partner.

 

Any young person can experience dating abuse or unhealthy relationship behaviors, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, socioeconomic standing, ethnicity, religion or culture. It does not discriminate and can happen to anyone in any relationship, whether it’s one that is casual and short-term or serious and monogamous.

What Does Dating Violence Look Like?

Teens and young adults experience the same types of abuse as adults, including:

  • Physical Abuse: Any intentional use of physical force with the intent to cause fear or injury, like hitting, shoving, biting, strangling, kicking or using a weapon.
  • Verbal or Emotional Abuse: Non-physical behaviors such as threats, insults, constant monitoring, humiliation, intimidation, isolation or stalking.
  • Sexual Abuse: Any action that impacts a person’s ability to control their sexual activity or the circumstances in which sexual activity occurs, including rape, coercion or restricting access to birth control.
  • Digital Abuse: Use of technologies and/or social media networking to intimidate, harass or threaten a current or ex-dating partner such as demanding passwords, checking cell phones, cyberbullying, non-consensual sexting, excessive or threatening texts or stalking on social media.

Love is Not Abuse iPhone App

Launched in August 2011, the free Love is Not Abuse iPhone app is an educational resource for parents that demonstrates the dangers of digital dating abuse and provides much needed information on the growing problem of teen dating violence and abuse.

Over the course of the experience, you receive text messages, emails and phone calls in real-time mimicking the controlling, abusive behaviors teens might face in their relationships. The app also provides information on warning signs of abuse, concrete steps parents can take if they are concerned their child may be a victim and tips for how to talk to your child about the issue.

We collaborated with the following partners, who guided the creative process and whose resources are highlighted in the app: The National Network to End Domestic Violence, Joyful Heart Foundation, Verizon Foundation, Wired Safety, MTV, Futures Without Violence, Seventeen Magazine, Mom Central and the American School Counselors Association. In addition, the app was developed by Charles Kliment, Founder and Principal Designer, KAJA Circle and Eric Mansfield and Chris Mollis, Co-Founders and Principal Software Engineers, AppsOnTheSide.

Need Help?

If you or a loved one is in a abusive relationship, please get help. Visit loveisrespect for more information, chat with a peer advocate online, call 866.331.9474 or text "loveis" to 22522.