All those movie marathons, farmer’s market visits, and weekend getaways with your man are great. But how do you know he really loves you? Here are 10 telltale signs he cares about you more than you think.
Signs He Cares More Than You Think
How to know if a guy cares about you is important information to have. It can help you better navigate your relationship so it continues to grow. Here are ten proven signs he cares about you.
Table of Contents
1. He tries to impress you
If he cares about you, he cares what you think about him and he will make an effort. He wants you to see him as a knight in shining armor.
But what it takes to impress a woman has evolved from the days when women needed men to protect them from the fearsome mastodon. Your man hopefully knows that trying to impress a woman isn’t about downing protein shakes or wearing sunglasses indoors.
He may boast about how cultured he is, recount heroic stories from his past, or post on social media showing off the “exciting” life he leads. Maybe flaunt a little performative social justice action. Try to be seen by you with a baby. In the park. Walking a dog. A rescue dog.
All of this is by design, and it’s to make you see him in a positive light. Granted, you may chuckle at some of these antics. But try to understand that it comes from a genuine place of him wanting to earn your affection.
2. He is protective of you
A man’s natural instinct is to protect the woman he cares about — it’s written into his DNA. He wants to know you’re safe. In fact, a man who genuinely cares about you will feel an innate responsibility to make sure you’re physically and emotionally protected.
This protective quality may even be an indicator of a happy, healthy relationship. According to the Institute for Family Studies, protective married men have happier wives and more fulfilling marriages.[1]
Author Notkin says, “Wives married to men who rated high in protectiveness are happier and less prone to divorce.” This desire to protect may just be a telltale sign that a man is emotionally attached to you.
However, it’s important to know the difference between protective and possessive. One is healthy; the other is toxic. Asking when you’re available to spend time together is healthy. Making you feel guilty for having a life outside of your relationship is toxic.
3. He honors and respects your boundaries
Personal boundaries are a sacred thing. And a high-value man will know that actions speak louder than words. As a result, a man honoring and respecting your boundaries is one of the biggest signs he cares deeply about you.
Here are a few of the types of boundaries to set (and ensure he respects) in your relationship:
- Physical boundaries: Communicate your physical boundaries, including sexual activity, clearly and assertively.
- Emotional boundaries: Your emotional well-being is too valuable to compromise due to drama and bad vibes.
- Time boundaries: Making plans and canceling at the last minute is a cardinal dating sin. Likewise, monopolizing your time is also not cool.
These boundaries indicate what is and isn’t acceptable to you. Setting proper boundaries helps you and your partner to manage expectations. And they are also standards for him to live up to in order to remain a part of your life.
4. He includes you in his plans
If you only take one thing away from how to know if a guy cares about you, let it be this: He includes you in his plans. Men vote with their feet. So, if he’s with you, he voted for you.
A guy who cares about you will put in the effort to make you a part of his life. It won’t just be dates to the bowling alley, a cooking class, or food and drinks at his place.
It will be invitations to get to know his friends, connect with his family, and maybe even attend extracurricular activities he enjoys. In short, any guy can take a lady for a night on the town — that’s probationary dating.
But inviting you to meet his family and friends? Now you’re stepping into the upper echelon of the dating hierarchy. That’s a big deal!
5. He listens to your problems
But to be clear, I’m not talking about passively absorbing information by being just “there.” I mean engaged, attentive, and focused intently on what you’re communicating to him.
This is what’s known as active listening. According to an article published in the Journal of Family Psychology, active listening is essential for healthy, functional, intimate relationships.[2]
You’ll know your man cares when he’s fully engaged with you using active listening. He’ll do things such as:
- Ask questions: He’ll make statements or ask follow-up questions to encourage you to continue venting your frustrations.
- Focus his attention: He won’t be on his phone, looking around distracted, or checking his watch. Instead, his body language will indicate full focus and attention on you.
- Not try to “fix it”: A guy who really cares will just give you space to vent. Even though it may be tempting for him to jump in to “save the day,” he’ll allow you to just talk and get everything off your chest until you let the sigh of relief out after venting.
6. He asks your opinion
When he truly cares about you, a guy will place high value on your opinion. He trusts your judgment and will want to hear what you have to say. He’ll carefully consider your opinion and weigh it against the potential outcomes.
A bit of advice: Tell him what you really think. Don’t be wishy-washy when responding with your opinion, giving answers like, “I’m not sure,” “Whatever you want to do is fine,” or “Your guess is as good as mine.”
If he’s coming to you for your opinion, it means he respects (and genuinely wants to know) what you think. Even if he doesn’t use your advice, he’ll appreciate your honesty.
7. He apologizes when he’s in the wrong
I don’t care how humble he is. He could have spent six months living as a monk at a monastery in a secluded mountain range and apologizing for an error in judgment would still be hard.
For this reason, you can bet that if he apologizes for his mistakes, it’s a blatant sign — a bright, neon-green flag — he cares about you.
If he wants to keep your love, affection, and relationship intact, he will have no problem admitting when he’s fallen short. Instead, he will prioritize your feelings over his pride.
8. He supports your dreams and goals
A guy who cares about you will never ask you to compromise your dreams and goals. In fact, the opposite is true. He will support you in all your ambitions and will feel proud to have such a motivated woman by his side.
As his partner, you’re a reflection of him (especially once the relationship picks up). As a result, he’ll be as excited as you are for your goals.
Basically, he’s the Hunter Woodhall to your Tara Davis-Woodhall.
If a guy doesn’t support or encourage your ambitions as enthusiastically as Hunter cheered for Tara winning gold in Paris, that’s a major red flag that you should not ignore.
9. He sticks around when things get dicey
A severe illness, the unexpected passing of a loved one, or any other traumatic experience can throw your world into a tailspin. When this happens, you quickly learn who the real ones are in your life. If this dude is there for you through thick and thin, there’s no better proof that he cares.
So, pay close attention to how he responds in tough times.
If he becomes distant and unresponsive, you know he’s not ready to move into a more serious, committed type of relationship. Let him go. You dodged a bullet there.
10. He accepts your flaws and idiosyncrasies
If you’re perfect like me (ahem), this will be more of a subtle sign of course. Just kidding! No one is exempt from flaws, faults, and shortcomings. We all have peculiar quirks, idiosyncrasies, and bad habits that, well, can be less than pleasant for others to deal with.
So, if your man is patient with (and accepting of) your messy cooking or binge-watching Downton Abbey, you have a keeper.
Why Do Men Sometimes Have a Hard Time Expressing Themselves?
There are many reasons why opening up to you may be a challenge for him. However, here are a few of the biggest culprits.
They fear rejection
A lot of men — hell, a lot of people — have been through the wringer. They’ve been rejected or ghosted over and over. As a result, your man may have difficulty expressing himself due to the fear of getting hurt again.
Rejection sucks, and the sting of it can leave even the most confident guy shaken. Sometimes guys just need a little time to muster up the courage and spill the beans on what they think and feel. For this reason, be patient with him. He’ll come around.
The best thing you can do is simply be a secure place of solace for him. Try to minimize judgment and criticism. Prove to him that you care too and that you aren’t going anywhere and he’ll soon open up — like a rescue dog who eventually learns to eat out of your hand.
They feel pressured by societal norms
From an early age, men are hit with a slew of tropes: Suck it up kid! Be a man! Men don’t cry! You know the drill. This is called masculine ideology.
According to research from the American Psychological Association, “Masculine ideology develops as growing boys internalize cultural norms and expectations about gender-appropriate behavior.”[3]
These cultural norms encourage such “masculine” behavior as toughness, invulnerability, competition, and “restriction or suppression of emotional expression.”
So, if your man is having difficulty expressing how he feels, it may be because he’s conditioned to see emotional vulnerability as an unattractive quality in a man.
The good news is that these dated cultural norms, while still prevalent, are beginning to shift.
They suck at expressing their feelings
Believe it or not, he may genuinely not know how to express his emotions. Whether this is because of the masculine ideology explained above or if he just came from an emotionally closed-off or dysfunctional family, who’s to say?
He may just not be sure how to articulate emotional experiences to himself or others, a condition known as alexithymia.
According to the Handbook of Clinical Neurology, alexithymia is the clinical term for the inability to articulate emotional experiences.[4]
The article’s authors, Hogeveen and Grafman, describe alexithymia as, “an impaired ability to be aware of, explicitly identify, and describe one’s feelings.”
In short, it explains the typical masculine persona’s conflict — on a psychological level — with expressing emotions.
How to Accept and Appreciate His Love and Care
While men might have trouble expressing their affection, once they figure it out, it’s important that you accept it gracefully and carefully. At this point, he’s like a fragile piece of crystal; if you’re not gentle, he could shatter into a million pieces.
Show encouragement over criticism
Find ways to encourage him by listening attentively, speaking kindly and respectfully, praising his achievements, and acknowledging his efforts. Basically, the exact same treatment you’d like from him.
This is especially true when he’s experiencing hard times.
According to a 2001 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, providing “comfort and assistance to one another in times of need” helps to not only improve their mental health but also makes them feel more bonded and connected to you.[5]
Authors of the study, Brooke Feeny and Nancy Collins, also noted that “caregiving has been identified as a basic component of human nature and a primary element of close relationships.”
For this reason, encouragement and care are a big deal. Being there for him will put the wind in his sails and make him want to invest more time and effort in your relationship.
Express gratitude
It’s easy to fall into a routine once you’ve been together for a while. When this happens, the little things that made your relationship magical in its initial phase begin to fade away. You stop asking about each other’s day, planning surprise outings, and just generally showing appreciation for each other.
But for the sake of your partner and your relationship, show gratitude for him, his love, and his presence. It won’t only help him; studies show that expressing gratitude is actually good for your own well-being.
A 2010 article in Clinical Psychology Review explained that gratitude is “robustly associated” with the management of depression, positive social relationships, and even physical health.[6]
A few examples of simple gestures of gratitude:
- randomly texting him to express your gratitude
- leaving sticky thank-you notes on the bathroom mirror or the sun visor in his car
- publicly acknowledging him when you’re with friends and family
- surprising him with his favorite treats
- complimenting him or giving positive feedback
Be on his side
Support and appreciation extend beyond just the confines of your relationship. Your guy wants to feel that you have his back in debates with family, disagreements with friends, and squabbles in any other quadrant of life.
You’re his “ride-or-die” girl — the one he knows will always be on his team. In fact, one of the most essential qualities most men value in a relationship is loyalty.
A 2014 study published in the Universal Journal of Psychology connected loyalty with a stronger relationship. The study revealed that loyalty was the most important quality in a romantic partner among 87 participants.[7]
So, every time you take his side, you demonstrate that you’re on the same team.
Conclusion
It can be hard to tell if a man sees you as someone special. However, with these 10 signs he cares about you, you can crack the code.
If he tries to impress and protect you, listens to and respects you, and invites you into his world regardless of your annoying qualities, there’s an obvious emotional connection brewing.
Explore more tips and advice on being in a relationship.
FAQs
How do you know if a man has strong feelings for you?
You know a man has strong feelings for you if he enjoys your company and always wants to be around you. Making eye contact, taking interest in your life, and wanting to help you with things are other signs a man has strong feelings for you.
How do you know if he thinks you’re the one?
You can tell a man thinks you’re the one if he talks about having a future with you and introduces you to his family. He’ll also show that he trusts you by sharing his biggest dreams and deepest fears and invite you to share yours as well.
How can you tell if a guy feels a connection with you?
To tell if a guy feels connected with you, look at his comfort level. If there’s a connection, he won’t need to put on a mask and try to be someone he’s not. He will feel free to be himself around you.
References
- Notkin, M. (2024, February 28). Even in 2024, women are still looking for a protective man. Institute for Family Studies. https://ifstudies.org/blog/even-in-2024-women-are-still-looking-for-a-protective-man ↩︎
- Kuhn, R., Bradbury, T. N., Nussbeck, F. W., & Bodenmann, G. (2018). The power of listening: Lending an ear to the partner during dyadic coping conversations. Journal of Family Psychology, 32(6), 762. https://doi.org//10.1037/fam0000421 ↩︎
- Englar-Carlson, M. (2006). Masculine norms and the therapy process. In M. Englar-Carlson & M. A. Stevens (Eds.), In the room with men: A casebook of therapeutic change (pp. 13–47). American Psychological Association. https://doi.org/10.1037/11411-002 ↩︎
- Hogeveen, J., & Grafman, J. (2021). Alexithymia. Handbook of Clinical Neurology, 183, 47–62. https://doi.org/10.1016/B978-0-12-822290-4.00004-9 ↩︎
- Feeney, B. C., & Collins, N. L. (2001). Predictors of caregiving in adult intimate relationships: an attachment theoretical perspective. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 80(6), 972. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11414378/ ↩︎
- Wood, A. M., Froh, J. J., & Geraghty, A. W. (2010). Gratitude and well-being: A review and theoretical integration. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(7), 890–905. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2010.03.005 ↩︎
- Emond, A., & Eduljee, N. B. (2014). Gender differences: What we seek in romantic and sexual partners. Universal Journal of Psychology, 2(2), 90–94. ↩︎
