If you’re here, it means you’re trying to breathe new passion into your romance. So, put down that copy of Eat, Pray, Love, silence your phone (yes, even your work email), and prepare for a masterclass on how to turn a man on.

How to Turn Him on Fast: Seduction Basics for the Eternally Bewildered

Let’s start with the fundamentals. Some of you out there think that men are as simple as IKEA instructions. Newsflash: We’re not. 

1. Touch him

This one is a no brainer in the school of how to make a man want you. A simple touch can make sparks fly and lead to fireworks. When you’re walking past him, try a drive-by seduction. Let your hand gently brush against his arm or lower back. Aim for that sweet spot just above his waistband.

When he hands you something (like that glass of Malbec he just brought you), let your fingers graze the back of his hand and linger for a moment longer than necessary. Count to three in your head. It’s the physical equivalent of a cliffhanger ending that has you gagging for the next season. 

According to researcher Rauch et al., physical touch activates neural pathways associated with arousal, particularly in areas like the anterior temporal cortex, which are linked to pleasurable experiences.^[1]

Give his bicep a little squeeze when he says something funny. Lean in close and say, “Wow, someone’s been working out!” even if the only exercise he’s been doing is 12-ounce curls.

2. Tease him

Wear a slightly unbuttoned blouse or a dress with a thigh-high slit. When you catch him looking, smile and say, “Oh, this old thing?” like you’re auditioning for 1940s film noir. Take your time removing your jacket or shoes. Arch your back slightly as you do it. Make it a show — you’re auditioning for “Magic Mike: Female Edition.” 

Bonus points if you can do it to music. 

Catch his eye across the room and gently bite your lower lip. Hold eye contact for three seconds, then look away. It’s a semaphore for “I’m thinking naughty thoughts about you, but I’m too ladylike to say them out loud.”

Research by Abbey and Melby indicates that eye contact can amplify perceptions of sexual intent, particularly in ambiguous situations. Males often interpret eye contact as a sign of seduction, which can intensify the teasing dynamic.^[2]

So, make sure you maintain eye contact while you do your little dance.

3. Engage his mind 

Engage him in a debate about something he’s passionate about. Turning a man on isn’t just about making him horny. It’s deeper than that. It’s about inspiring him to want a connection with you. 

Whether it’s why The Office is superior to Friends or why pineapple belongs on pizza, show him you can keep up. Bonus points if you can work in a flirty comment, “Your passion is sexy.”

Take an interest in his hobbies. Ask him to explain the offside rule in soccer or why that vintage whiskey is so special. Listen and ask follow-up questions. Just try to look more interested than you do during your annual gynecologist visit. 

Compliment him on something specific and intellectual. Instead of “Nice biceps, bro,” try “I love how you analyzed that situation at work. Your problem-solving skills are impressive.” It’s like catnip for his ego. 

Discuss your hopes and dreams for the future. Men love a woman with ambition, as long as that ambition doesn’t involve taking over their man cave. Say something like, “In five years, I see us traveling the world together. What do you think?”

4. Treat him like a hero

Treating your man like a real hero will not only turn him on, it’ll make you irresistible to him. In his bestselling book ‘His Secret Obsession’, psychologist James Bauer explains his new concept of the ‘hero instinct’ which all men possess, and how women can easily activate it.

By making your man feel wanted, appreciated, and valued in his relationship, you’ll trigger a biological urge in him which will make your man crave you in ways he never has before.

To learn more about the hero instinct and how you can trigger it in your man, check out James Bauer’s free video on the hero instinct here.

5. Make him anticipate 

Send him a message like, “Can’t wait to find out what you can do with your tongue.” Then don’t respond to his frantic follow-up texts for at least an hour. Let his imagination run wild. You’ve hooked him.

If you’re feeling bold, slip a pair of your panties into his lunch bag with a note saying, “Dessert’s on me tonight. I’ll be wearing the matching bra.” He’ll be counting down the minutes until work is over. 

Send him a voice message telling him exactly what you want to do to him later. Use your sexy voice, not your “Where are my keys?” voice. Something like, “Hey baby, I can’t wait to see you tonight. I’ve been thinking about running my hands all over your body . . .” should do the trick. 

Send a suggestive (but not explicit) photo. Think less Girls Gone Wild and more Victoria’s Secret catalog. Maybe a shot of your legs in stockings with the caption “These are lonely without you.” It’s classy AND sexy. 

6. Show confidence

Nothing is sexier than confidence. Stand tall, shoulders back, chin up. Strut like you’re walking a runway, even if you’re just going to take out the trash. Whisper to yourself, “I’m a boss bitch” if it helps. Just maybe not when he can hear you. 

Don’t be afraid to acknowledge your awesomeness. “I nailed that presentation today” is hot. “I’m a worthless potato” is not. Unless you’re a potato, in which case, you shouldn’t be reading this. 

According to research by Murphy et al., confidence has been linked to increased romantic desirability because individuals perceived as confident are more attractive to potential partners.^[3]

Wear something that makes you feel like a million bucks even if it’s just sweats. When he compliments you, don’t deflect. Say, “Thank you. I know,” with a wink. Confidence is the sexiest outfit you can wear, but a well-fitted bra is a close second.

7. Compliment him

When it comes to what men want out of a relationship, feeling admired is there at the top of his list. A subtle stroke of his ego will surely fire him up. So, perfect the art of targeted compliments to turn your man on. 

Skip generic praise for specifics: “That blue shirt makes your eyes pop like sapphires.” Appreciate his skills: “Your guitar playing could captivate anyone; it’s so passionate.” Praise his character: “Your kindness to strangers is incredibly sexy.”

Timing is key. Surprise him when he least expects it. As he’s fixing your laptop, whisper, “Your tech skills are such a turn-on.” Or when he’s just woken up, bedhead and all, say, “Even with morning breath, you’re irresistible.”

Deliver with a hint of humor and a dash of flirtation. Remember, sincerity is crucial. Strike the right balance and you’ll have him melting faster than ice cream in a microwave.

Sexual Turn-Ons: Sometimes, Subtlety Is Overrated

We’re talking about the kind of stuff that makes men weak in the knees and strong in . . . other areas. But remember, we’re keeping it classy here. 

The power of scent

Pleasant scents can evoke strong emotional responses. In fact, a study published in Clinical Physiology shows that olfactory pleasantness correlates with positive facial and autonomic reactions, enhancing arousal.^[4] 

So, find a signature scent that drives him wild. Maybe it’s that vanilla perfume you wore on your first date, or maybe it’s the scent of freshly baked cookies.

The element of surprise

Men love surprises — well, good surprises. Not the “Surprise! I maxed out your credit card,” kind. Mix things up in the bedroom. Try a new position, a new location, or a new toy. Maybe suggest doing it on the kitchen counter (don’t forget to sanitize it after!). 

Just maybe don’t surprise him with all three at once, unless you want to give the poor guy a heart attack. 

The bold move

Sometimes, taking charge is the ultimate turn-on. Be direct about what you want and how you want it. Initiating sex or pulling him in for a kiss when he least expects it can be wildly exciting. Men appreciate a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go after it. 

The lightest touch

You don’t need grand gestures to turn him on. Sometimes, it’s the lightest touch that drives him crazy. Let your fingers brush his skin casually, linger just a little longer when you pass him in the hallway, or run your nails lightly down his back when you’re sitting together. 

The power of voice

Researchers at Kyushu University note that soft, sultry voices can stimulate the autonomic nervous system, leading to physiological changes, such as increased sympathetic activity, which is linked to arousal.^[5] 

Try talking dirty, reading something a little spicy out loud, or simply speaking slower and lower than usual. When done right, even mundane conversations about dinner plans can become foreplay. 

Slow, sensual dancing

You don’t need to be on the dance floor at the club to make this work. A slow sensual dance in the privacy of your home can be incredibly seductive. Move your body to the rhythm, letting him watch as you sway, or better yet, invite him to join. The proximity and the closeness can all lead to a buildup of desire. 

The appeal of his clothes

There’s something about seeing a woman in his T-shirt or button-down shirt that can be incredibly arousing for a man. It’s a casual laid-back look that carries an element of ownership and intimacy. It’s as if you’ve just stepped out of his world and into his personal space. 

Things to Say to Turn a Guy on Fast: Words Are Sexy Too

Now, I know some of you might be thinking, “But I’m not good with words!” Well, tough love, buttercup. It’s time to channel your inner Shakespeare (minus the thees and thous — or with them, we don’t kink-shame here). Here are some phrases guaranteed to keep this motor running:

• “I can’t stop thinking about you . . . especially your arms in that shirt you wore last night.” Classic, simple, effective, with a dash of specificity.
• “Remember that thing you did last night? I want more of that. A lot more.” Specific and tantalizing. He’ll be replaying last night in his head all day. 
• “I bought something special to wear for you tonight. Want a hint? It’s small, lacy, and easy to remove.” The power of anticipation, yeah! 
• “You look so sexy when you’re doing dishes. Who knew doing dishes could be such a turn-on?” Flattery will get you everywhere, especially when it’s unexpected.
• “I love the way you make me feel. Especially when your hands are on my thighs.” Emotional connection for the win, with a spicy twist!.

Delivery is key. You could be reciting the phone book, but if you do it in a sultry voice while maintaining eye contact and slowly licking your lips, he’ll be putty in your hands.

Personality Turn-Ons for Guys: There’s More to Life Than a Nice Butt

Believe it or not, men are not just walking hormones. They appreciate personality too! Here are some nonphysical traits that can turn a guy on faster than you can say “emotional connection.” 

Sense of humor

If you can make him laugh, you’re halfway there. Tell him all the dad jokes you’ve been saving. When he groans, say “That’s not the only noise I was hoping to get out of you tonight.” Just make sure you’re laughing with him, not at him. There’s a difference.

Intelligence

Show off that big brain of yours. Engage in witty banter, debate current events, or just crush him at Trivial Pursuit. When you win, do a little victory dance. Nothing says sexy like a woman who knows stuff and isn’t afraid to show it. 

Independence

Men love a woman who has her own life. So, pursue your passions, maintain your friendships, and don’t be afraid to say “no” sometimes. Tell him, “I can’t tonight, I have plans. But I’m all yours tomorrow, and I’ll make it worth the wait.” The anticipation will drive him wild. 

Kindness 

Being nice is sexy. Who knew? Show compassion, be generous, and for the love of all that is holy, be nice to waitstaff. Maybe leave a generous tip and whisper to him, “I like taking care of people. I’ll show you how well later.”

Adventurous spirit

An adventurous spirit is all about embracing boldness and a zest for life. If you’re always ready to say “yes” to new experiences and view fear as a challenge, you’re turning heads! A sense of adventure makes you fun, and fun, shared experiences are one of the things men want most in a woman.

How to Turn Him on in Public: For the Daring and Slightly Devious

Want to drive him wild when you’re out and about? Here are some subtle (and legal) tips to turn him on in public:

• The suggestive stretch: In a casual setting, reach up for something, arching your back just enough to accentuate your curves. 
• The whisper: Lean in close at a restaurant and whisper something like, “I’m not wearing any underwear.”
• The lip bite: When you’re talking or even just listening to him, subtly bite your lower lip and give him a slow, knowing smile. 
• The playful footsie: While seated at a cafe or restaurant, gently brush your foot against his leg under the table. 
• The surreptitious sext: When you’re in public, you can’t use dirty talk to get him going — well, not out loud. You can send him a flirty text, though.

Just remember, keep it PG-13, folks. We’re trying to turn him on, not get arrested for public indecency. 

Conclusion

Thanks to this comprehensive guide on how to turn a man on, you’re now an expert on seduction. Now get out there and put these tips to work!

Just remember, every guy is different, so what works for one might not work for another. The most attractive thing you can do is to be yourself: confident, authentic, and maybe just a little bit naughty.

For more info about being in a relationship, check out the link!

References

1. Rauch, S. L., Shin, L. M., Dougherty, D. D., Alpert, N. M., Orr, S. P., Lasko, M., Macklin, M. L., Fischman, A. J., & Pitman, R. K. (1999). Neural activation during sexual and competitive arousal in healthy men. Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging, 91(1), 1–10.
https://doi.org/10.1016/S0925-4927(99)00020-7

2. Abbey, A., & Melby, C. (1986). The effects of nonverbal cues on gender differences in perceptions of sexual intent. Sex Roles, 15(5), 283–298.
https://doi.org/10.1007/BF00288318

3. Murphy, S. C., von Hippel, W., Dubbs, S. L., Angilletta Jr, M. J., Wilson, R. S., Trivers, R., & Barlow, F. K. (2015). The role of overconfidence in romantic desirability and competition. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 41(8), 1036–1052.
https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167215588754

4. Bensafi, M., Rouby, C., Farget, V., Bertrand, B., Vigouroux, M., & Holley, A. (2002). Psychophysiological correlates of affects in human olfaction. Neurophysiologie Clinique/Clinical Neurophysiology, 32(5), 326–332.
https://doi.org/10.1016/S0987-7053(02)00339-8

5. Watanuki, S., & Kim, Y. K. (2005). Physiological responses induced by pleasant stimuli. Journal of Physiological Anthropology and Applied Human Science, 24(1), 135–138.
https://doi.org/10.2114/JPA.24.135