{"id":571,"date":"2022-06-21T11:25:19","date_gmt":"2022-06-21T11:25:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/breakthecycle.org\/warning-signs-spotlight-pressuring-sex\/"},"modified":"2024-04-13T21:53:02","modified_gmt":"2024-04-13T21:53:02","slug":"warning-signs-spotlight-pressuring-sex","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/blog\/warning-signs-spotlight-pressuring-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"Warning Signs Spotlight: Pressuring Sex"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n

\n

Please note: Entries within this blog may contain references to instances of domestic abuse, dating abuse, sexual assault, abuse or harassment. At all times, Break the Cycle encourages readers to take whatever precautions necessary to protect themselves emotionally and psychologically.\u00a0 If you would like to speak with an advocate, please contact a 24\/7 peer advocate at\u00a0<\/span>866-331-9474<\/a>\u00a0 or text “loveis” to 22522.<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Warning Signs Spotlight: Pressuring for Sex<\/div>\n
\n
<\/header>\n
\n
\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\n
\n

At some point in dating or a relationship, the topic of sex might come up. When there is open communication, respect, and trust, sex can be a comfortable and enjoyable experience. If you aren\u2019t ready for sex, saying \u201cno\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m not ready\u201d is still perfectly fine because there is mutual respect. But, there are times when one person doesn\u2019t respect their partners\u2019 verbal or physical \u2018no\u2019. They might use coercion<\/strong> or pressure to convince their partner to do something sexually that they don\u2019t want to do or that makes them feel uncomfortable. Using coercion is a major warning sign that someone might be sexually abusive.<\/p>\n

The tricky part of coercion is that it doesn\u2019t always sound mean and scary, but it is<\/em> a way to break down your vision of a Healthy Me. Sometimes a person might pressure their partner by saying things like, \u201cI thought you loved me,\u201d or \u201cWe\u2019ve done it before, and it was great. Why can\u2019t we do it now?\u201d. Pressure can also come in forms of put-downs and guilt trips if someone says, \u201cYou\u2019re acting like a kid,\u201d or \u201cYou got me excited, what do you expect\u201d. The reality is, it doesn\u2019t matter if you\u2019ve had sex before or the other person was aroused; you don\u2019t ever owe your partner sex or need it to prove your love to them. There are hundreds of ways to show love for someone without having sex.<\/p>\n

Expecting someone to have sex just because you\u2019re in a relationship or dating or you went home with them after a date<\/a> creates a false narrative about the role sex should play in a relationship. Coercing a partner is an attempt to get power and ownership over their partner’s body. Coercion says that you don’t have the right to say \u2018no\u2019 or show\u00a0that you don\u2019t want to have sex. It also shows that they don\u2019t care about YOUR pleasure, comfort levels, and boundaries. Everyone has a right to be respected, and pressuring someone for sex is a huge sign of disrespect.<\/p>\n

No matter if it\u2019s a long-term relationship, a thing, or a date, pressuring someone for sex or assuming they want to have sex is not okay. It\u2019s everyone\u2019s responsibility to check in with the other person, and respect their choices. Being a Healthy We means that you both have the ability to talk openly and freely about your boundaries<\/a> and wants around sex, including what you like and don\u2019t like, how far you want to go, and if you want to wait. This creates intimacy<\/a> – intimacy is emotional closeness, and mutual trust. Respecting your partner\u2019s choice to not have sex can build that emotional closeness and mutual trust that truly make a healthy relationship.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s Time to Talk<\/h3>\n

Here are a few questions that\u00a0parents and caring adults<\/a>\u00a0can use to start conversations about isolation with the young people in their life:<\/span><\/p>\n