{"id":477,"date":"2022-06-21T11:24:46","date_gmt":"2022-06-21T11:24:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/breakthecycle.org\/real-stories-school-counseling-and-court-dates\/"},"modified":"2024-04-13T21:50:32","modified_gmt":"2024-04-13T21:50:32","slug":"real-stories-school-counseling-and-court-dates","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/blog\/real-stories-school-counseling-and-court-dates\/","title":{"rendered":"Real Stories: School, Counseling, and Court Dates"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Please note: Entries within this blog may contain references to instances of domestic abuse, dating abuse, sexual assault, abuse or harassment. At all times, Break the Cycle encourages readers to take whatever precautions necessary to protect themselves emotionally and psychologically.\u00a0 If you would like to speak with an advocate, please contact a 24\/7 peer advocate at\u00a0<\/span>866-331-9474<\/a>\u00a0 or text “loveis” to 22522.<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Real Stories: School, Counseling, and Court Dates<\/div>\n
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This is Real Stories – a blog by\u00a0Let’s Be Real\u00a0members about their experiences with relationships, dating, and more. LBR is a movement by young people for young people about relationships.<\/h2>\n

I never could have imagined I would be juggling time between school, counseling, and court dates my junior year in high school. I was only sixteen, and I didn\u2019t even know I had been in an abusive relationship until it had ended. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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During health class my freshman year, my teacher went over the Cycle of Abuse and handed out pamphlets with warning signs, and that was that. I remember thinking: \u201cWow, I\u2019m so glad that I\u2019m fortunate enough and smart enough that I would be able to recognize these signs if it were happening to me.\u201d Though the pamphlets were informative, I did not necessarily fit the victims they had portrayed. \u00a0The problem was, I didn\u2019t realize that even though my situation was not exactly what the pamphlets had described, I was still in an abusive relationship. I\u2019m not the only one who has felt this way; other people still don\u2019t recognize abuse, even when it\u2019s happening to them.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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During the summer, I started dating a guy I worked with. It was a small town, the kind of place where everybody knows each other, and I thought I knew enough about him to judge whether he was an okay guy or not. He and his family went to church every Sunday, and even volunteered. He was smart, he did well in school and was polite to my family. They approved of him at first. It was my first relationship – I was excited and hopeful. The first couple of months were great. and I couldn\u2019t believe how lucky I was. He would tell me about how all of his friends thought we were a perfect couple, and at first, \u00a0I thought we were too.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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About three months in the abuse started. He started isolating me from my friends and family; I could only hang out with him. He accused me of cheating on him. He called me nasty things no one should ever be called; he told me I was repulsive and useless. He would push and pull me around whenever he was displeased with me. I felt embarrassed, ashamed, and alone. No one, including myself, really knew how bad the relationship actually was until I finally tried to leave. It was my first relationship; I didn\u2019t understand that this wasn\u2019t just how break ups work. He started stalking me, leaving messages on my phone, verbally harassing me. He tried to corner me when I was alone in the halls at school. When I asked for help, the school told me I could avoid him if need be. I was excused from punishment if he decided to come after me in class. Rather than reprimanding me for leaving class suddenly, the school said they would give me a \u2018free pass\u2019 to leave the classroom if he decided to approach me. \u00a0Finally, after multiple death threats to me and my loved ones, the court dates began. I received a restraining order against him, which he violated several times.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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I thought my experience was uncommon, but sadly, dating violence is frighteningly common and it doesn\u2019t always look how you think it does. 94% of 16-19 year old \u00a0victims of intimate partner violence are victimized by their boyfriend or girlfriend(<\/span>loveisrespect.org<\/span><\/a>).. Domestic abuse does not happen to just adults, I was a young teen when it happened to me. Abuse does not only know female victims either. Sometimes, abuse is not obvious; it includes behaviors that don\u2019t leave visible marks like manipulation, or isolation. It can happen to anyone, and it is important that victims and others understand. Victims should never have to avoid their attacker, or be held accountable for \u201cbringing it upon themselves\u201d, or \u201cmaking the abuser do it.\u201d Victims are not to be blamed for being emotionally traumatized. Victims should be informed, supported and treated with respect and understanding. Abusers can go to church, and have good grades. They can even be friendly to others or do nice things. Just because the situation does not fit the \u2018regular\u2019 domestic abuse profile, does not make it any less abusive. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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Abuse is never the victim’s fault, and everyone should take \u00a0the opportunity to be informed. When we \u00a0recognize the seriousness of abuse, we can then take the steps to end it. \u00a0Sharing my story through Let\u2019s Be Real is one of the many steps I take to end violence. What are yours?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Elizabeth is a contributing member of<\/span> Let\u2019s Be Real<\/span><\/a>, a movement by young people for young people about relationships. She is \u00a0from Southern Illinois, and a senior in high school. She enjoys running, writing, drawing, and spending time outdoors with her friends and family. Elizabeth believes that everyone deserves a healthy relationship, and that youth and adults should be educated on domestic abuse, so that victims can be heard and supported . She is also a donor to organizations like the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, and the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence. Elizabeth believes in providing resources and comfort for those suffering and who have suffered abuse in any form.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Please note: Entries within this blog may contain references to instances of domestic abuse, dating … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":600,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/477"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=477"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/477\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4733,"href":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/477\/revisions\/4733"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/600"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=477"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}