{"id":4433,"date":"2024-04-10T18:07:30","date_gmt":"2024-04-10T18:07:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/?page_id=4433"},"modified":"2024-04-13T22:04:32","modified_gmt":"2024-04-13T22:04:32","slug":"warning-signs-spotlight-put-downs","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/blog\/warning-signs-spotlight-put-downs\/","title":{"rendered":"Warning Signs Spotlight: Put Downs"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Please note: Entries within this blog may contain references to instances of domestic abuse, dating abuse, sexual assault, abuse or harassment. At all times, Break the Cycle encourages readers to take whatever precautions necessary to protect themselves emotionally and psychologically.\u00a0 If you would like to speak with an advocate, please contact a 24\/7 peer advocate at\u00a0<\/em>866-331-9474\u00a0 or text “loveis” to 22522.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n

Among the many obstacles you may face in relationships, determining when your partner crosses the line can be a tricky one. This line may be one that you’ve talked about, or one that you haven’t opened up about yet. Either way, your values and feelings are important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a partner\u00a0uses words<\/a>\u00a0to hurt, mock or belittle you, this can be a\u00a0warning sign\u00a0<\/a>of an\u00a0unhealthy relationship<\/a>. Often these put downs are masked as jokes, targeted towards insecurities you may have, and said with no regard of the weight and impact these words carry. Sometimes, put downs happen during arguments, especially when they’re heated. Even put downs in arguments can be unhealthy and there are ways to argue or\u00a0fight fairly<\/a>. When put downs start becoming a pattern in or out of arguments, this type of behavior is abusive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A put down can happen once and be painful, but when they are constant and used to overpower or control you in a situation, this is another clear warning sign of abuse. Comments like \u201cYou never do anything right<\/em>,\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t know why I\u2019m with a loser like you<\/em>,\u201d and \u201cYou are such a baby, crying over everything, get over yourself<\/em>.\u201d are examples of put downs. How does this take away from you as a\u00a0Healthy Me?<\/a>\u00a0Well, these words play over and over in your mind and can affect the way you feel and think about yourself. This is a negative power play that can affect your ability to practice self-love because you really care about your partner and value what they have to say. It\u2019s hard to believe that your partner would hurt you this way, but the reality is, even though they may seem like they\u2019re just using words and not doing anything really extreme like hitting you, those words are just as painful as physical abuse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n

You deserve to be treated in a\u00a0healthy<\/a>\u00a0way: physically, emotionally and verbally. A partner that uses put downs or comments to make you feel bad or less than is not displaying healthy relationship behaviors. In a\u00a0healthy relationship, your partner will use words to make you feel good, loved, and encouraged. A Healthy We is all about building each other up, being fair, and appreciating the wonderful, unique qualities that each person brings to the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s Time to Talk<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Here are a few ways for\u00a0parents and caring adults<\/a>\u00a0to start conversations about put downs with the young people in your life:<\/p>\n\n\n\n