{"id":409,"date":"2022-06-21T11:24:24","date_gmt":"2022-06-21T11:24:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/breakthecycle.org\/leaving-emotionally-abusive-relationship\/"},"modified":"2024-04-13T21:51:30","modified_gmt":"2024-04-13T21:51:30","slug":"leaving-emotionally-abusive-relationship","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/blog\/leaving-emotionally-abusive-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"Leaving an Emotionally Abusive Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Please note: Entries within this blog may contain references to instances of domestic abuse, dating abuse, sexual assault, abuse or harassment. At all times, Break the Cycle encourages readers to take whatever precautions necessary to protect themselves emotionally and psychologically.\u00a0 If you would like to speak with an advocate, please contact a 24\/7 peer advocate at\u00a0<\/span>866-331-9474<\/a>\u00a0 or text “loveis” to 22522.<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Leaving an Emotionally Abusive Relationship<\/div>\n
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Actress and singer Jennifer Lopez recently admitted she’s been\u00a0in an emotionally abusive relationship<\/a> in the past.<\/p>\n

“I’ve never gotten a black eye or a busted lip, but I’ve felt abused in one way or another: mentally, emotionally, verbally,” Lopez writes in a new memoir, True Love.<\/em> Sadly, J.Lo proves that not only does abuse come in many forms, but that thankfully, people in emotionally abusive relationships can leave, even if they don\u2019t feel like it’s possible.<\/p>\n

While all abuse involves issues of power and control<\/a>, emotional abuse gets underneath a victim\u2019s skin and makes them second guess themselves. Perhaps their partner would ask simple questions like, \u201cmaybe you should eat something lighter,\u201d or, \u201cI don\u2019t know if that sweater suits you.\u201d And by taking these suggestions at face value, they believe they\u2019re just listening and pleasing their partner.<\/p>\n

But as time goes on, if these suggestions aren\u2019t followed, they become angry or childish, looking for ways to manipulate their partner into doing what they want. The abuser uses threats, like \u201cI\u2019m going to leave you if you don\u2019t do this,\u201d or plays on how they\u2019re undesirable with something like, \u201cI\u2019m the only one that loves you anyway.\u201d It can get to the point where the victim feels as though the abuser\u2019s opinions are right: no one loves them, there is something wrong with them, and so on.<\/p>\n

Remember, this is all based on control. An abuser wants to feel good about themselves, so they may project their own feelings of powerlessness on their partner or try to ensure they are never rejected themselves. But those feelings are their feelings and are not necessarily rooted in truth.<\/p>\n

So how can someone in an emotionally abusive relationship<\/a> take control back? It starts by setting boundaries with their partner, explaining how they\u2019re open to hearing concerns, but it\u2019s not okay to be attacked. Moreover, what\u2019s now off the table? What is considered okay to do, and what crosses the line? Consider personal values, desires, and needs when discussing what can and cannot be done. If they cannot meet these reasonable expectations, then it\u2019s time to move on.<\/p>\n

Breaking up can be very scary, especially for someone who\u2019s been suffering from abuse. Reaching out to someone who can offer support will help in the long run, as they can be there during this difficult time. They can also help victims remember what it used to be like before the relationship, and how they are worth and lovable. Whether it\u2019s family or friends, having a place to go and money or a job in place will also provide much needed support. Furthermore, it\u2019s important to connect with themselves again and work on undoing the damage.<\/p>\n

At the end of the day, love is not controlling. It\u2019s not about trying to change a person, but rather about celebrating that person. Everyone deserves a healthy relationship! If you have questions about leaving an emotionally abusive relationship, call 1-866-331-9474.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Please note: Entries within this blog may contain references to instances of domestic abuse, dating … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":600,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/409"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=409"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/409\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4829,"href":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/409\/revisions\/4829"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/600"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.breakthecycle.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=409"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}