First dates are exciting for anyone, especially for young people who may not have gone out on a date! That said, a first date can also turn into the perfect storm of nerves, hormones and tactlessness. It can be really easy to screw up the date by saying or doing the wrong thing. If you want to make them say “aww” instead of “ugh,” here are 10 things you definitely shouldn’t say on a first date:
1. “My last relationship was the WORST.” There’s no need to talk about your last relationship on the brink of what could be your next one. Don’t go on about how you were wronged, what they did, or what you did to someone else. It not only makes you look immature and selfish because you’re talking nonstop about you, but also prevents you from enjoying this date.
2. “No, really, it’s true!” Be yourself, and be honest. Don’t be tempted to embellish any part of your life. You might feel pressure to exaggerate, but you want your date to like you for you, not for something fake. Besides, if they catch you in a lie later, it’ll look really bad!
3. “Yeah, I’ve got a gun and some katanas.” Okay, having a hobby is important. However, your date may find this intimidating, not sexy. It’s no The Hunger Games, it’s a date, and casually mentioning weapons can come off as threatening.
4. “So, want to go back to my place?” This may seem like an innocent question, but it’s just a first date. Asking it implies you want to have sex right this second, which puts your date in an awkward position. Even if you both really like each other, and want to keep dating, it can be more fun -- and safer -- to get to know them better first. If things are going really well, try going out for coffee or a late night movie instead.
5. “I still love my ex.” Yikes. What are you doing on a date? You might think that’s an honest thing to say, but you’re really saying that you’re not ready for a new relationship. Take enough time to get over your last relationship first before you ask someone else out.
6. “I’ve never told anyone this before…” It’s a first date, and even if you’ve known this person for a while, it’s never a good idea to tell them such a personal secret. No matter what kind of connection you feel, give your date time to prove how trustworthy they really are. Keep the conversation light instead of disclosing everything about yourself.
7. “I really want to get married.” Whoa, easy, it’s a first date! The whole point of dating is to see how compatible you are with someone. You might think it shows you’re someone interested in a committed relationship, but it can scare them off. Again, keep it light!
8. “I ordered you a chicken burger.” Don’t order for someone else! It doesn’t matter if it’s a salad or a salted caramel cheesecake, you can’t assume someone wants to eat what you think they should eat. Plus, it makes you look controlling! Be thoughtful by listening and responding to what they say during the date, not by acting as if you know what's best for them.
9. “Ever thought about losing a few pounds?” It does not matter who your date is, NO ONE likes to be criticized! It’s not well-meaning -- it’s just mean. If their weight, hair color, or clothes really bother you, maybe they’re not a perfect match for you.
10. “Life really isn’t working out for me.” Debbie Downer Alert! Your date doesn’t want to hear about all your troubles. Everyone, especially when they’re younger, is going through a transitional period. If you don’t have a lot of money, need a better job, or something else is disappointing you in your life, it’s okay. And if they like you for you, they won’t care either.
At the end of the day, first dates are about getting to know someone and having fun! Don’t panic about the best way to impress them -- show off your great personality, have a sense of humor and be confident. Remember, if you two don’t click, or they don’t seem responsive, that’s okay. There are so many awesome people you can date, and if they’re not into the idea of dating you, or you don’t feel that strongly about them, that’s fine!
Have questions about dating? Text “loveis” to 22522 and talk to one of our peer advocates -- we want to help!