Break the Cycle – Help A Friend

    1. Don’t be afraid to let her know that you are concerned for her safety. Help her
      recognize the abuse. Tell her you see what is going on and you want to help. Help her to
      recognize that what is happening is not “normal” and that she deserves a healthy, non-violent relationship.



    1. Acknowledge that she is in a very difficult and scary situation. Encourage her
      strength and courage. Let her know that it is not her fault that she is being abused
      – the abuser, not the victim, is responsible for the abuse. Let her know she is not
      alone.



    1. Be supportive. Listen to her. Remember that it may be difficult for her to talk
      about the abuse. Let her know you are available to help whenever she needs it. What she
      needs most is someone who will listen to and believe her and who can help her sort out her
      options.



    1. Be non-judgmental. Respect her decisions. There are many complex reasons why victims stay in abusive relationships. She may break up with and go back to the
      abuser many times. Do not criticize her for doing that. She will need your support even
      more during those times. Do not make her feel bad for her choices, even if you think
      these choices are wrong.



    1. Encourage her to do things with you and other friends and family and to take part in
      other activities outside of her relationship.



    1. If she breaks up with the abuser, continue to be supportive of her once she is alone.
      Even though the relationship was abusive, she will probably feel sad and lonely when it is
      over. She may be tempted to get back together with the abuser, and will especially need
      your support at that time.



    1. Help her develop a safety plan.



    1. Encourage her to talk to people who can give her help and guidance. Offer to go with
      her to find a counselor or support group, or to talk to her family, friends or teachers.
      If she is going to the police, to court, or to see a lawyer, offer to go along, but make
      sure to let her do the talking.



  1. Remember that you cannot “rescue” her. You should be there to support her
    and to help her find her own way to escape the abuse and make herself safe.