Should I get a domestic violence restraining order?

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Should I get a domestic violence restraining order?

While a restraining order can be an effective and powerful legal tool to help you keep yourself safe, it is not your only choice. There are limitations to what a restraining order can do, and there are many reasons why you may or may not want a restraining order. A restraining order is not right for all people and it cannot guarantee your safety.

Making the decision whether or not to apply for a restraining order can be very difficult, but it must be your decision. The following lists may help you decide whether a restraining order is the right choice for you.

Reasons to get a restraining order:

It may make you feel more confident because you are taking control of the situation.
If you have a restraining order, you do not have to wait for the abuser to hurt you before calling the police; you can call the police as soon as the abuser contacts you or comes near you.
It can encourage school officials and other authorities to help protect you from the abuser.
Police tend to give priority to calls where the victim has a restraining order.
To establish an official record of the abuse.
To make the abuser move out of a home that you two share.
To establish a safer custody and visitation arrangement for your kids.
To allow you to enjoy school, work and other activities with less threat of harm.

Reasons not to get a restraining order:

If you will be uncomfortable calling the police if the abuser violates the restraining order.
If you don't want friends or family to know about the abuse.
If you think it will make the abuser more violent and will put you in greater danger.
If you are afraid of peer or gang retaliation.
If you or your family is moving far away, you may feel safe without it.

Remember, a restraining order cannot:

Guarantee your personal safety.
Guarantee the abuser won't still be able to intimidate or scare you.
Guarantee the safety and welfare of your children.
Guarantee the abuser will be out of your life.
Guarantee the abuser won't destroy property that may be irreplaceable, like photos, important papers and things with sentimental value.
"Cure" the abuser.